Noc-Talk411

[TobyBenoit]

Quite a few of the wildlife management areas here in Florida don’t allow off-season entry by a motorized vehicle or either have very limited road access with designated parking areas and your expected to hike in to where you want to go to scout. I myself, as a mobility impaired hunter have tried to overcome the restricted access in a couple of different ways. Some have worked out great; such as aerial photos, topographic maps, and phone calls to the regional biologist, but other ideas didn’t quite work out so well for me.

During my time with Arrowhead Archery Shops in Tampa, several of the regular customers and myself would often discuss the topic of public land scouting. Some of them had found a way around the limited access found on many of the WMA’s by using mountain bikes. They would climb on their bikes and ride out to where they wanted to scout by using the access roads and fire breaks normally closed to motorized vehicles. It really opened up a lot of land and opportunities for them. So, I thought I’d give it a try.

I drove to the local Wal-Mart and bought the biggest mountain bike they had. It was a pretty thing and built really well, so I couldn't wait to ride it. The older lady at the checkout counter made a comment to me that, “some kid’s going to be really happy, huh?”

I told her that the bike wasn’t for a kid, but rather for myself and what I intended to use it for. As she looked over my 6’1” 450lb frame I could see a bit of humor there, but she smiled sweetly as she handed me my receipt and warned me, “Don’t go running into no trees now, sugar!”

Don’t you love it when a real Southern lady calls you, “Sugar”?

I drove straight to one of our local parks where they have a bike trail and pulled it out of the back of my pickup ready to ride. On the drive over I kept remembering about how much I loved riding my bike when I was a kid, about three hundred pounds ago, and was looking forward to the ride. I adjusted the handlebars and seat to where I wanted them and swung a leg over to mount up. "Hmm," I thought, "I don't remember the seats being so small".

I tried to push off, but my knees were getting in the way of the handlebars, so I hopped off and raised the handlebars as high as they'd go and tried it again. Well, it still wasn't right, because the pedals were so high, I had to raise my thighs so high that my gut was in the way of them too, so I dismounted again and raised up the seat as high as I could get it.

I then threw a leg over and attempted to mount the seat, but now I couldn't do that because it was too high and my feet wouldn't touch the ground. Well, I was starting to get a bit dismayed when I decided to use the truck as support in order to climb up onto the seat. I steadied myself against the side of the truck bed as I climbed aboard, put my feet on the pedals, and pushed off!

I was riding my bike! Yeah! The problem was, it wasn't as effortless as I remembered it being and after a quarter of a mile, my legs felt like rubber and were on fire!

The paved bike trail was too narrow to turn around on and I knew I'd never make the one mile loop back to the truck, but I knew I couldn't stop because I wouldn't be able to get back on if I did.

I was getting rather concerned when I spotted a small maple tree that had been planted by the parks department on the side of the bike trail. In a fraction of a moment, I had a plan all worked out. I thought that if I could coast alongside of it, I'd be able to grab a hold of the tree and steady myself as I got off of the bike, then turn around and use it to prop up on, in order get back up on the hateful contraption.

Oh, the best laid plans... I aimed the bike for that tree and coasted over slowly, but when I got near and tried to use the breaks, they didn't work! It seems, that you can't just pedal backwards like I used to do on the bikes of my youth and by the time I reached for the brake on the handlebars it was too late!

I caught that little maple tree in the right crook of the handle bar and managed to wrap the bike and I around that little tree, which proceeded to snap off at the ground sending it, the bike, and myself sprawling together into a pile.

Now, the trail I was riding on is reasonably isolated and I was lying there with the wind knocked out of me, trying to catch my breath and thinking how lucky I was that no one had been present to have witnessed the crash, when two really cute coeds from the local university came running up from around the corner.

I turns out that they had indeed witnessed the crash and ran over to see if the fat guy had died or not. They were both very sweet as they helped me stop the bleeding from my forehead and escorted my bike and I back to the truck and offered to put a bandaid on the gash over my eye from the first aid kit I keep behind the seat.

Shortly thereafter, I chose to take advantage of Wal-Mart’s excellent return policy. As I approached the return counter, the sweet lady took one look at the bike and my newly placed bandaids and asked with a smile, “What’d ya do Sugar, hit a tree?”

[XiBowhunter]

I have tried using a bike before too. It has worked for me with marginal success. there are a couple of WMA's that are less mountainous that a bike works very well on.

I am also glad you weren't seriously hurt. But that show a lot that you at least tried.

[Noc-Talk411]

OMG! Toby! Well I am really glad that you are okay!

[TobyBenoit]

Yeah, the biggest bruise was to my pride!

I'll just have to keep hunting close and stop trying to convince myself that the hunting's easier, farther back. I do manage to put venison in the freezer regularly, so I guess I'm not missing out on anything, but I had to at least try, right?