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Here's the next part of "Reclaiming Forever." Very Happy

Amy

"Reclaiming Forever," Part 4

Felicia slowly lowered the baseball bat but didn't let go of it. She and Luke stood staring at each other. Luke slowly lowered his arms, then clasped his hands in front of him, deciding it would probably be wise if he kept his hands where Fanny could see them.

Felicia finally broke the silence. "So help me, Luke, if you're using Lorna to try and get to me just because she's the only one you left behind who DIDN'T express the sentiment that you can go to hell..."

"I would never do that, Fanny! You know me better than that!" Luke exclaimed.

"I thought so too. But I was wrong," Felicia replied stonily.

Luke hung his head. "Well, I'm guessing you didn't come here to see me, since you didn't know I was here," he said.

"What ARE you doing here?" Felicia asked.

Luke lifted his head and looked at Felicia again. "I took Lorna and Joe to the airport to catch their flight, and Lorna insisted that I stay here while she and Joe are on their honeymoon," he replied. "I'm supposed to water the plants and get the mail."

"Oh, really, that's interesting," Felicia replied. "I'M supposed to water the plants and get the mail."

Luke was genuinely surprised. "She didn't mention that, Fanny, I swear she didn't," he said.

"And you didn't put her up to this?" Felicia demanded.

"I know that you think I'm lower than scum right now," Luke said. "Rightfully so. But I swear to you, Fanny, I would never use either of our daughters to get to you."

"I guess I should have figured that out for myself, since you had no trouble letting all of us think you were dead for five years," Felicia snarked.

"Now you sound like Dean," Luke said.

"Don't you DARE criticize Dean!" Felicia exclaimed. "He is a wonderful young man, and he is completely devoted to Jenna and little Lucas, and he's been there for this family, which is more than I can say for you!"

"I wasn't criticizing Dean, I was just making an observation," Luke said.

"Well it was just brilliant! Did you honestly expect me to just fall back into your arms like no time had passed and nothing had ever happened? Did you think just showing up would mean all was forgiven? You LIED to us, Luke! You let us believe you were DEAD! We had a funeral for you, we had a wake for you, we mourned and grieved for you! We all went through HELL after losing you! Don't you EVER get angry at me for keeping secrets again, because you kept the biggest secret of all and didn't care how much it hurt your family!"

"You think I didn't want to take you with me?" Luke said. Now he was getting angry. "You think I didn't want you there with me, Fanny? And Jenna, and Dean, and even Lorna? But I couldn't do that!"

"You didn't even ASK us!" Felicia shouted. "Did you think we wouldn't go?"

"I didn't want to take you away from your life!" Luke shouted back.

"YOU were my life!" Felicia exploded. "You were the center of my entire world. The man I have loved since I was 16 years old. The father of my children. I would have lived in a tent in the Sahara Desert and changed my name to Brunhilda Schnickelfritz if it meant we could be together! Damn you, Luke Castigliano! Damn you for letting me fall even more in love with you than I was when we were kids, damn you for leaving me and our girls behind and letting us think you were dead, and most of all, damn you for not believing in me, in our love, enough to trust me enough to even ask me to go with you!" Felicia savagely threw the bat down; it landed with a clatter on the floor. Then she stormed out of Lorna and Joe's apartment.

"Fanny!" Luke called after her as he followed her.

She whirled and looked at him, standing there framed in the doorway. "Not one more word, Luke. And don't come after me, or I'll go back and get that bat and I really WILL knock your head off!" Then she stomped away, leaving Luke clutching the door frame and staring after her.

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When Felicia walked into her apartment after going for a two-hour drive, the first thing she noticed was the blinking light on the answering machine. Sighing, she rewound the message tape and played it.

*BEEP* "Mom, it's me. Dean and Lucas and I are home now, so you can call anytime. Dean's giving Lucas his bath, so I'll just wait for you to call, okay? We love you, Mom."

*BEEP* "Honey, I'm just calling to let you know that Frankie and I picked up the kids and we're home, so you can call us whenever you want."

*BEEP* "Felicia, it's Rachel. Please call me and let me know how you're doing, all right?"

*BEEP* "Felicia? Gary Sinclair here. I'm off duty tonight, and Josie's on, so if you want me to come over, or if you'd like to come to our place, or if you want me to come to TOPS or something, just let me know. Or you can just call me and we can talk on the phone too. Whatever you want. Hang in there. I'm here for you."

*BEEP* "Mom, I only have a minute before Joe and I have to board our flight, but I'm going to guess that you know by now Daddy is staying at our place. It was all my idea, he had nothing to do with it, and, you know, you could go a little easier on him. Okay, I gotta run or we'll miss our flight. I'll see you when we get back. I love you, Mom."

"Oh, you better BELIEVE you'll see me when you get back!" Felicia called to the answering machine.

But the messages didn't stop there.

*BEEP* "Felicia, it's Rachel again. I just wanted to make sure you got my first message. I think maybe the tape cut me off. Anyway, call me."

*BEEP* "Felicia, it's Frankie. Cass doesn't want you to think he's nagging you--"

"Frankie!"

"Well, that IS why you asked me to call this time, isn't it, Cass? He's worried about you, Felicia. I am too. I know that today was a big shock to you. Call us when you get a minute, okay? We love you, and we're here for you."

*BEEP* "Felicia? Felicia, are you there? It's Dean. Well, you probably already knew that. Jenna's reading Lucas a bedtime story, and I know she's kinda freaked that you haven't called yet. Actually, so am I. So could you just give us a buzz? We're taking the cordless phone to our bedroom, so you don't have to worry about waking the kid, all right? Just please, call."

*BEEP* "Felicia, it's Rachel again. No one has heard from you yet, and we're all starting to get worried. Could you please just call one of us so we know that you're not...All right, we've been friends too long and been through too much for me to treat you with kid gloves. I've talked to Cass and Frankie, and to Jenna and Dean, and you haven't called any of them yet. We all hope that it's not because you're drinking, but even if it is, we understand, and we're here for you. Call one of us, please, as soon as you get this."

*BEEP* "Felicia, it's Gary again. Rachel Cory Hutchins called Commissioner Harrison, who called me. I don't know where you are right now, but call me when you get this, okay? Please? I'm starting to get worried."

*BEEP* "Mom, it's me again. Rachel called here, and she said that she hasn't heard from you, and then Dean called Frankie and Cass, and they haven't heard from you either. I'm officially worried about you now. So could you please call me as soon as you get this."

*BEEP* "Felicia, it's Rachel again--"

"Oh, for crying out loud!" Felicia exclaimed to the machine. "I TOLD you people I wasn't going to drink, and I meant it! Can't I just have a few hours to myself?"

Felicia walked out of her apartment in the middle of Cass and Frankie's third message, letting the answering machine tape continue playing. She loved her family and friends dearly (even though she was angry at Lorna at the moment), but they were smothering her, and that was just about the last thing she needed right now.

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Paulina McKinnon sat perched on a stool behind the bar of the Cafe Paradise, double-checking the books. With tomorrow being the last day of the month, she had to make sure all of the accounts were in order. Mack was sound asleep, and Jake was at home with him, working on his next proposal for Brava; Jake always insisted on making pitches to the board for his jobs at Cory Publishing, and not automatically getting them because he was part of the family. It was something that Paulina admired a great deal about him, and that she knew Rachel admired about him too.

Felicia walked into the Paradise and let the air-conditioning, and the reggae music coming over the speakers, soothe her frazzled nerves. When Paulina had inherited the Paradise from Rachel's mother Ada Hobson after Ada's death in 1993, she had decided to keep the restaurant virtually unchanged as a tribute to both Ada, who ran the place for several years before her passing, and Paulina's father Mac, who had gifted Ada the restaurant when she was retired and at loose ends, since Ada was not the type of person to be a lady of leisure, having worked for a living all of her life. Mac would have been so proud of the daughter he'd never known, Felicia reflected as she watched Paulina bent over a ledger and writing in it with pencil in hand, a calculator at one elbow, a half-full glass of iced tea with a lemon wedge on the rim of the glass at her other elbow. Felicia found herself missing her old friend right now. Mac always had a calming effect on the people around him, and she could sure use some of that perspective and calming influence right about now.

Felicia tentatively approached the bar, not wanting to disturb Paulina, but Paulina happened to glance up as she was reaching for her iced tea and notice Felicia standing there. "Hi, Felicia," Paulina greeted her. Paulina's mind raced--she wanted to be of help to Felicia, but she didn't want to push her. Although Paulina's relationship with Vicky was much better now, there had been a few times after Jake had returned after his accident, presumed death, and amnesia, when Vicky had gotten up in Paulina's face to plead her best friend's case and it had taken all of the restraint Paulina possessed not to haul off and slap Vicky just to get her to shut up. And then there had been Rachel, Matt, and even Jamie and Iris, all of whom seemed to be constantly reminding her that they were there for her anytime no matter what, and Rachel and Matt, especially, had spent a good deal of time hovering and smothering her. And when she wasn't dealing with her well-meaning family, or Vicky listing all the reasons that Paulina needed to forgive Jake, Jake himself was showing up and annoying the hell out of her while she was trying to process everything. Paulina noticed the defensive set to Felicia's shoulders, the anger and confusion warring in her eyes, and the tired lines edging her face. She guessed that Felicia's loved ones had been doing to Felicia what her loved ones had done to her when Jake first returned. They meant well, just as the Corys had meant well, but sometimes you just needed some space from everything and everyone, and if anyone needed some space from everything and everyone right now, it was Felicia Gallant.

"Hello, Paulina," Felicia greeted her. "You're here kind of late."

"Well, you know, tomorrow's the thirty-first, gotta have the books done," Paulina said. "I gave Mack his bath and put him to bed. Jake's working on a pitch at home, so he'll wait up for me. You know how it is in the restaurant business."

"Yep, I do that," Felicia agreed. She paused for a long moment, and Paulina said nothing, looking back at her ledger instead. "I'm guessing Rachel told you about what happened at the wedding?" Felicia said when Paulina didn't say anything.

"She did," Paulina said. "But I'm not here to pry. If you want to talk, I'll listen. And if you want to talk about anything but you-know-who, I'm up for that too."

"You-know-who?" Felicia asked.

Paulina nodded. "When Jake first came back, just hearing his name made me want to scream. And when I first saw Jake, I went from being thrilled that my prayers that this had all been some horrible mistake were answered to wanting to rip his head off with my bare hands in about 30 seconds."

"Bless you," Felicia said. She sat down at the bar. "I nearly knocked Luke's head off with a baseball bat tonight."

"I know the feeling," Paulina said. "Can I get you anything?"

"That iced tea looks good," Felicia said, gesturing to Paulina's glass.

"Comin' right up," Paulina said as she poured a glass of tea for Felicia.

"You know--thank you," Felicia said as she accepted sugar and lemon from Paulina and finished fixing her glass of tea. "You know, I forgot that you'd been through something similar with Jake." She paused. "I know this sounds terrible, but Jenna and Dean, Cass and Frankie, Rachel, and Gary Sinclair have all been calling me repeatedly and wanting me to call them back, and Lorna even called from the airport before the plane took off. THAT is what made me want to scream!"

"Been there," Paulina said. "When Jake came back, Iris was even being nice to me for real. And you know that there was never any love lost between Jamie and Jake, that they have managed to peacefully coexist pretty much for my sake, and Steven's and Jessie's sakes, and then Mack's sake when he was born, but even Jamie was always checking up on me. Matt practically became my shadow. Iris was the one that surprised me the most, though. She'd never had much use for Jake, or so I thought, and suddenly she became, for the first time in our relationship, the supportive big sister. Talk about throwing me for a loop."

"You poor thing," Felicia said sympathetically. She sipped her tea. "Just out of curiosity, how long did the 'I want to rip his head off' phase last for you?"

"A couple of months," Paulina replied.

"So it's not strange that I'm glad he's alive but at the same time so mad I was ready to take a baseball bat to the back of his head earlier?" Felicia asked.

"Not at all," Paulina assured her.

"That's good to know," Felicia said. She smiled, a tired but genuine smile. For the first time since she saw Luke at TOPS, she was starting to feel better, thanks to Paulina's understanding.

TO BE CONTINUED
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