Sorry this is soo long, but I am trying to catch up to where I am only one part behind. Enjoy.
“Now Nicole, tell me how do you feel?” inquires Dr. Nottingham. “How do you feel, with Felicia, Cass and Frankie?”
“I honestly don’t know what to feel, Doctor. I know that life has gone on for all of us, and I have asked for and received their forgiveness. You know that they have been by to see me in the past few years. It has surprised me to see them, but knowing that I have been forgiven by them means a lot to me. I totally messed up, and I was wrong to have Felicia take the fall for something I did. Felicia has told me, she harbors no ill feelings about what I did. I was wrong to try to gaslight Frankie.”
“Nicole, I heard you have had some more nightmares. Can you tell me about it?”
“I had one last night. It is still the same thing, the sound of the gun going off, my screaming, and those eyes. Those cold, unfeeling eyes. I can’t shake the terror that I feel whenever I see those eyes over the barrel of that gun.”
“Do you know whose eyes those are?”
“No. I still cannot figure out who those eyes belong to. All I see are eyes framed by smoke. The rest is just a blur to me.”
“How old were you when your mom died?”
“Thirteen, sir. That was the worst time of my life, losing Mom like that. But those eyes still haunt me. It is like I have a missing piece of the puzzle and I have been trying to place all the pieces together. I have tried and tried but nothing makes any sense. Why is it all I see are eyes and not a face or body attached to them?”
“Nicole, I know this is a recurring nightmare of yours. I see in your records that this usually happens whenever something big is about to happen in your life. Could this dream be in response of your getting out of here today?”
“I certainly hope so, but something keeps nagging at me. Today, it was like I saw a little more than I usually see whenever this dream happens. I could almost make out the details of who fired the gun. You know I saw my mother murdered, didn’t you? And the reason I have been in here for these past 19 years is because I shot Jason Frame, who was the one that murdered my mother.”
“Nicole, tell me about that night. I know you have recounted this story many times for me, as I have it well documented in my notes, but I want to see if you can remember any details that you might have over looked before.”
“All I remember was that it was dark in the house. I was feeling rather sick so I was in the living room, curled on the couch. Then I heard my mother begging and pleading for whoever it was to ‘just put the gun down.’ I heard this voice that said ‘No Elizabeth, not this time.’ Every time I try to place that voice I keep drawing a blank on it and I just assumed it was Jason Frame that shot her. You know my mother was having an affair with him, didn’t you? Well, as soon as she was shot, I screamed out NO and all I saw was this pair of eyes through the smoke off the gun barrel. Brown, cold eyes, full of hatred. But I know there is something else, cause after this I keep drawing a blank. Wait a minute, now I am beginning to see it, the figure laughing and then running off into the nighttime.”
“Nicole, I am ready to release you. Dr. Olivia Matthews will be your psychiatrist when you are finally released today. I have all your records ready to be sent to her. You know she might be able to help you break through this block. She has successfully used hypnotism therapy to unlock hidden memories.”
“Thank you Dr. Nottingham. Thank you for all of your hard work these past nineteen years. It feels good to be going home. So much has changed in these 19 years. I wonder how I will adjust?”
“You will adjust just fine, Nicole. You have come a long way since 1989. I know you think that life has passed you by, but it hasn’t, no matter what you believe.” The phone buzzes in, “Doctor Nottingham, Donna Cory is here to pick up Ms. Nicole Love.” “Thank you Nancy, I will inform her.”
“Yeah now that is a change, my own sister married to a man about 20 years her junior. That was surprise, but I am happy for her. If she can find happiness after losing Michael, Donna is the one that deserves it. Reginald made her and my lives a living hell at times. It is a wonder both of us aren’t dead of suicide.”
With the mention of Reginald’s name, a blocked memory comes flooding back to Nicole. She keeps it to herself because she wants to ponder on it before she discusses it. She is now beginning to realize why she hated to sleep at night. After her mother’s death, Reginald took out all his rage on her. His abuse toward her began shortly after her mother’s burial. She shook her head at this memory, and said, “Thank you once again for all you have done for me Doctor. My ride back into the real world is here.”
As Nicole walks through the door to Donna, Doctor Nottingham realizes a look on her face that he hasn’t seen before. Then the idea comes to him, ‘She has had a breakthrough. I had better let Olivia know that her patient may be bringing in a lot more baggage than we originally thought.’ Pressing the call button on the phone, he says, “Nancy, could you get Dr. Olivia Matthews on the phone? It is important that I talk to her today. Thank you.” Thinking to himself, “Nicole, my sweet, what have you remembered?”
Standing in the foyer of the state hospital is the ever elegant Donna Love Hudson Cory. She has looked forward to this day since Nicole was first sentenced here in the fall of 1989. “Poor Nicole, she has always seemed to have the lousiest luck in life. First mother dying, next failing medical school, losing Cass to Frankie, and then being the shooter of Jason Frame. What a lousy life she has lived, but I promise I will make the rest of her life worth living even if it kills me. Oh Nicole there you are!! I am so happy to see you as I know everyone else is.”
“Donna, how have I missed seeing you. I have dreamed of this day for 19 years, and now it is finally here. Take me home would you? Take me home to Bay City.”
“Gladly, I want you as far away from *sniff* this place as possible. Just the thought of you being locked here while you should have been out and for what price? Just because you shot Jason Frame. I still think someone else did it and you were blamed.”
“No Donna, I really did shoot him. It was an accident but I was wrong to blame Felicia for it. You know, she, Cass and Frankie have been good about coming to see me. I was so wrong to do to Frankie what I did. I thought I had something with Cass, but I know I was not meant to be with him. He was just like all my other boyfriends, just an infatuation, not love. They have forgiven me for what I did. Believe it or not, but we have become friends. Friends and family have really helped me through this time. I think Frankie and Cass were able to get my time reduced too.”
“Speaking of Frankie and Cass, the baby came today.” Sniff, sniff. “They named him Wallingford Michael. Frankie told me they wanted to honor Michael but they wanted my permission to do it. I said Michael was able to keep you from being killed by that horrible Fax Newman, and I know he would be honored to have a namesake.” At this Donna just breaks down. Being able to love once in a lifetime is a dream, but to find it twice, a miracle.
Nicole just reaches over and hugs her sister, and says “I know Donna, I really do understand. I just hope that I can still find love after all these years and that life hasn’t passed me by.”
“So, it is good to see that you have kept up with all the changes in technology while you were in there Nicole. This way you shouldn’t have too hard of a time readjusting to life and your new job. I still can’t believe that Rachael went and bought out Goody’s Family Clothing. I think she bought it on the recommendation of her granddaughter Ali Fowler because of that is the part of the country she went to college at. You will make a fine buyer for that company.”
“Thanks, Donna, I think. Gosh, I haven’t been in fashion now in almost 20 years. I hope I still remember how to look at something and know it is quality and not poorly made. Do you think I will do okay at this? I mean, look at me, I am 50 years old, I have spent almost 20 years away in a mental institution. What could Rachel have been thinking when she offered me the job.”
“She knows you know your job well and that you can see quality. Remember, she wore some of your designs. Plus, if Iris can come back after her trying to kill Carl, it is only fair to give you the same chance.”
“That IS right. She did wear some of my designs. I have been keeping up with how fashion has changed over the years, and Rachel told me she wants this chain not only to focus on young people, but also to cater to working professional people. Trendy but not off the wall, quality not quantity, and last but not least, affordable along with quality. I think I am up to the challenge.”
As they were talking, Donna was driving from the hospital in Oakdale to Bay City. The way home has also changed in 20 years. Farms have been turned into upscale subdivisions. Even the Frame-Hudson farm had been sold so Sharlene could help John with his malpractice insurance premiums. Donna and Matthew had wisely purchased this part of heaven and kept it as it was. Yes, Donna did build a big home there, but she and Matthew agreed to keep the farm house intact and Matthew used it as his office and the barn as his studio. Matthew was still the owner of the TV station, but he had built up a conglomerate of radio, newspaper, magazine, and television stations. His ownership in these areas almost rivaled HGTV and Citadel Communications, but not quite. He and Donna had them under the listing of Hobson Productions as a tribute to his beloved grandmother Ada. Matthew had even unlocked his inner artist, and had a sculpting and painting studios set up in the old barn. Donna loved to watch him work undetected because she could see that this was his passion, art. As Matthew immersed himself more into his art, Donna became more involved in the day to day operations of Hobson Productions, and Matthew was proud to see his wife show her passion in run the businesses that they had created. Yes, theirs was still a very passionate relationship, very loving and very fiery when they fought, but their love for each other always overcame any fights that they had. Sometimes they would pick a fight just to make up, but time had matured both of them and they were able to forgive each other for the past hurts that they inflicted on each.
“So Donna, where is it I am to stay at?”
“Right now with us, at least till you get on your feet financially. Our home is plenty big enough for you to stay at, and I had one wing built on with you in mind for the day you would get to come home. Matthew is all for you staying with us, and No you would not be no intrusion on us. I mean, we aren’t spring chickens you know. But we are honored to have you come and stay with us Nicole.”
“Thank you Donna. I don’t know how I will be able to ever repay you for this, but I promise I will. So has Rachel said when she wants to see me?”
“I think she said today at 2pm. Well, Nicole, it looks like you are finally home.”
“Home that word has never sounded any sweeter.”
“Dr. Frame, call Dr. Roberts at 456, Dr. Frame call Dr. Roberts at 456”, came the voice over the hospital intercom. Jamie was in his office finishing up the paperwork from the birth of Wallingford Michael Winthrop and wishing that his own father Steve was still around. “Gosh, how I still miss him,” thought Jamie to himself.
Dialing the number, he says, “Shane, what’s up? Oh no, you are kidding! Frankie?? How will I ever tell them about this?”
“Frankie, Cass, I don’t know how to tell you this and there really isn’t any easy way to tell you, but…”
“Oh no, is the baby sick? What’s wrong with him is he going to be okay?”
“No, no, he is fine; in fact he is growing like everything. No, since this is your six week check up, we need to discuss some things. Remember when you had all that blood drawn at the hospital? Well, it seems having Wally saved your life. Had you not had him, we would never have discovered you had the early stages of leukemia.”
“Leukemia? I have leukemia? I can’t have it, I feel fine,” exclaims Frankie.
“What are our options Jamie?” asks Cass. “What are we going to do about this? We are going to fight this with everything we can. I can’t stand the thought of losing Frankie again.”
“Well, first thing is, she needs monthly monitoring of her blood. Now Frankie with this you will feel yourself getting tired more easily. I know you are already tired with the demands of a nursing newborn and a teenager, but it will worse than that. Also, you all need counseling, Frankie for you to know your options and to deal with the gauntlet of emotions you will have, and for Cass and Charlie to deal with the pain and anger that this disease always brings onto the family. I want your family to stay strong through this fight because sometimes a cancer diagnosis can break up even the strongest of marriages. Also, we need to get you onto the National Bone Marrow Registry so that we can find a possible bone marrow match, and we need to organize a blood drive so that people can give a tube of blood and become registered onto the registry. I did this a few years ago when I was with Dr. Russ Matthews as Doctors without Borders. I have never been called upon to go to further testing, but Frankie, as my cousin, I hope that I could be a six point match for you. I know this is a lot to digest, especially considering that you thought this was just your six week checkup.”
“Jamie, shoot straight with me. What are my chances without the bone marrow transplant? I mean how do I have if I don’t find a match?”
“Right now, Frankie, you are an acute case, meaning it has not gone full blown yet. When you reach the chronic stage that is when the cancer itself is taking on an active role and then you will need the transplant. Right now, I am putting you on medication that will keep your immune system up and a chemo drug that is making strides in keeping this disease in the acute stage. Watch out about being out especially when the flu and cold season is in full blast. Your immune system will make you more susceptible to infections so just be careful. Take a good multivitamin too. This will help you keep up your body’s defense mechanisms. Cass, are you okay?”
Frankie and Jamie both look at Cass. Tears are streaming down his face and he is shaking his head. “But I just got her back. I mean first we found out Charlie had a heart condition and I thought I was to blame. Then Frankie leaves us because of Fax Newman, and now she just came back. Is this something that I possibly did to her? I mean, with her getting pregnant with Wally, could I have had a hand in her coming down with leukemia?”
“No Cass. You did not do this to her. We still don’t know why some people develop leukemia, but great strides are being made in finding a cure for this disease. Cass, one thing, whatever you do, don’t go off your medication. Frankie cannot have the added stress of thinking you might be off your medication too. My suggestion is this, both of you take your medications at the same time, so that both of you will feel like you are in this fight together. Do you have any questions now?”
“Yes, who is to be our family counselor?” asks Cass.
“Olivia. She is a capable doctor just like her dad Russ was before he retired. I have already spoken to her about this and she knows what to deal with. We are also bringing in a doctor that has done extensive research in this area, a Dr. Elias Henson from Wellmont Hospital in Kingsport Tennessee. Ali worked with him while she was studying at East Tennessee State and completing her degree in Microbiology. He is an excellent doctor who also has ties with how to organize a bone marrow registry drive. Plus he knows some of the latest breakthroughs in treating this disease.”
“Okay another question for you cousin: where will I undergo the transplant at when that time comes?”
“Now when you have the transplant you will have to go to Chicago or Vanderbilt in Nashville, Tennessee for the transplant. We are not authorized as a transplant hospital, so you will have to go to one that can do it.”
“What will be done to me when I get ready to undergo the transplant?”
“This will encompass some intense chemotherapy beforehand to kill all the bone marrow in your body so that the body will be clear of the diseased bone marrow and the transplant will be able to graft and produce. If just one cancer cell remains, you would come down with the disease again, and it is harder to do the second time around. You will also have to stay in the transplant ward for about a month till they know if the marrow has grafted and then you will be able to go out of the hospital, but you will have to stay in housing that the hospital has. This will take about 3 more months till we know for sure, and then you would be able to come home. But this can take up to a year to really know if the body has not rejected the marrow transplant and you will have to be on blood monitoring every 2 to 3 weeks afterward. If the initial dosage of chemo to kill all your bone marrow doesn’t kill you because you will be deathly ill from this and so susceptible to infection, then you have a good fighting chance that you will survive this. But it also means that your body will have to cooperate as well. It will have to recognize the bone marrow as being yours and not someone else’s. That is why once we find a possible match, and then they will have to undergo extensive testing to make sure they are a complete match, even down to the genetic level. It is like having a genetic twin of yourself, even though you will not look like the donor, whoever it is. Anything else?”
“Well Jamie, I think that answers about all that I have for now. What do you suggest we go to do research?” asks Cass.
“Library, online, any medical journals, anything you can think of, just don’t do any crazy treatments without consulting me first, okay?” Jamie says while looking at Frankie. “Understand? No crazy online treatments. These have not been proven and they just want to offer false hope. Plus watch your diet which I know you already do. Fresh fruits and vegetables, lots of water, whole grains, you know the whole bit. Keeping your diet healthy will help your body fight.”
“Okay, okay no crazy online cures, I promise Jamie. I want to beat this disease if is the last thing I do. I want to see my kids grow up and give me grandkids. Plus I want to stay around so Cass doesn’t have to raise them himself.”
“Just take care of yourselves okay?” says Jamie.
Getting up to leave, Cass shakes Jamie’s hand and says “Thank you for shooting straight with us.”
Frankie hugs Jamie and says “Don’t worry about me, I will be fine, I just know it.”
As they walk out the door, Jamie says “I hope so Frankie, I hope so. I feel like I have given her a death sentence.”
His intercom buzzes, “Dr. Frame, a Nicole Love is here to see you. Should I send her in?”
“Definitely, Sharon, do send her in.”
Opening the door to his office, Nicole pokes her head around the door and says, “Jamie, you look like you have seen a ghost.”
“No not a ghost just one of the most beautiful ladies ever. Ready for lunch?”
“Anytime, Jamie, with you anytime. By the way, I never thanked you for keeping in touch with me while I was away. You keep me in touch with all that was going on in your life. Thank you.”
He hugs her and says, “I didn’t want you to feel left out. I still care deeply for you, and I wanted you to know what was going on. I wish I could have taken you with me while I was serving with Doctors without Borders, but I did that just so that my heart could heal. Between Marley and Vicky, I almost went crazy. Marley is now with Tyrone, and Vicky is happy with Ryan. I am glad I just survived your nieces intact. Anyway enough about them, how are you getting along with working with my mother?”
“Everything seems fine so far, Jamie. Rachel is a fair and level headed boss, but it is a little disconcerting having Carl around. I mean I remember when he was married to Donna and how mean he was then. Seeing the ‘new’ Carl has really got me confused, but I am coming around. So where we going for lunch dear?”
“How about a good ole hamburger, fries and a coke?” says Jamie, “I know just the place that serves up a mean burger.”
“Where would that be?”
“Tops and Felicia is holding a table for us. Let’s go, Nicole.”
So goes the conversation between two people finding their way back to each other. Time has changed both of them and matured both. They no longer have the pent up lust toward each other that they experienced when they were in college, but they have reached a deeper appreciation of each other. Jamie is seeing Nicole as his soul mate in life. Jamie had time to think while he was serving on the medical missions that Russ Matthews had brought him in on. His heart finally healed from having Vicky and Marley play an end game of check mate on him. Jamie had finally forgiven each of them for what they did to him and how they played on his feelings. Steven was his one constant in life, and his son, though he was struggling through depression, he was turning out to be a fine young man. Jamie never felt prouder than he was of Steven. Though he could not understand why Steven insisted on becoming a Pharmacist and not a doctor like he was. My guess is that he saw how much time being a doctor took me away from him growing up, and I guess he wanted something so that he would not be owned by it day and night, like I am. Glancing over at Nicole, Jamie realizes time had been good to her. Yes, he knew she spent time in the mental hospital because of her shooting Jason Frame, but he thought Jason deserved it. After the way Jason had tried to ruin just about everyone in Bay City and especially what he did to Lisa, Jamie’s only regret was that he was not the shooter himself. He admired Nicole for that even though she did manage to get Felicia charged with the murder and then tried to gaslight Frankie. Felicia, Frankie, and Nicole had a sit down where they all forgave each other, and things had gone smoothly since that meeting about 15 years ago. Jamie still loved Nicole, even after all this time apart, and he was sure she still loved him.
Walking in their house, Frankie grabs Wally and hugs him, crying. “I can’t stand the thought of leaving you all again. I am going to fight this with everything I have, I promise you that.” Then to Cass, “What a day.”
“You can say that again, Frankie, you can say that again.” |
