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Special thanks to Carol for helping me out with some of the dialogue in the Lorna/Jenna scene, and part of Cass's dialogue in the last scene. Very Happy

"Reclaiming Forever," Part 13

The day after she kissed and then smacked Luke, Felicia left TOPS after the lunch rush and went to the Paradise to talk to Paulina. The Paradise was also past their lunch rush and also quiet. Felicia walked up to the bar, and the woman behind the bar greeted her with a smile. "Hello, Ms. Gallant. What can I get you?"

"An iced tea would be great. Thank you...Annette," Felicia replied, reading her name badge.

"Lemon, sugar, mint?" Annette asked as she grabbed a glass and filled it with ice.

"Is a lemon wedge too much trouble?" Felicia asked, seating herself at the bar.

"No trouble at all," Annette assured her as she prepared the tea, floating the lemon wedge at the top of the glass with a flourish. "There you go."

"Thank you," Felicia said again. She took a sip, set her glass down, then paused and asked, "Is your boss around?"

"Mrs. McKinnon?" Annette asked. "Sure. In the back. Excuse me, and I'll go get her for you." Annette left Felicia sitting at the bar with her iced tea.

Paulina arrived a moment later. "Hi, Felicia," she greeted her. "Annette said you wanted to see me."

"Do you have time to talk, or is this a bad time?" Felicia asked.

"I've got time," Paulina replied. She took the seat next to Felicia. "Something pretty big happened with you and Lucas."

"Am I that obvious?" Felicia asked.

"No, but you have that dazed, 'what have I done and how do I get past it' look I had the morning Jake tore up the front lawn with his motorcycle," Paulina replied.

"Why did Jake tear up the front lawn with his motorcycle?" Felicia asked.

"Because he had come over, and we had talked, and one thing led to another..." Paulina trailed off. "The next morning, I freaked out. He wanted to talk, I refused to listen, we had one of our world-famous, knock-down, drag-out fights that ended with me throwing him and his clothes out the front door. And then the idiot didn't even put his clothes on! When I slammed the door in his face, all he had on were his briefs. When I heard him revving up the bike, I looked out the window, and do you know that he was on his Harley wearing nothing but his briefs, his boots, and his helmet? He'd stuffed the rest of his clothes inside the seat! I went outside and yelled at him to get dressed and get out of there, and his response was to tear the hell out of the lawn with his bike before racing off. I'm still surprised he didn't get pulled over on his way back to his place." Paulina folded her hands in front of her on the bar and regarded Felicia. "Bearing in mind that you're not only a good friend to me but you're also one of Rachel's best friends, and I consider Rachel my mother, I don't need or want a lot of details. But since you don't have a lawn for Lucas to tear up with his car, what did happen that's got you so shook up?"

"I kissed him and then I smacked him," Felicia replied. "And I really need to talk to you, Paulina, because you've been exactly where I am now, or pretty close to it. I can't go to the girls with this, because Lorna won't see past the kiss, and Jenna won't see past the smack, and I interrupted Cass and Frankie's romantic evening last night. I was so preoccupied over Luke and the kiss and the smack, I didn't even realize exactly what I'd interrupted for several minutes." She sighed. "Before you ask, I kissed Luke because he was trying to explain to me what had happened, why he left, why he let us all think he was dead...but that was only part of the reason. I wanted to kiss him, Paulina. It's been five years. And for those few seconds, it all felt so right."

"And then reality intruded and you realized that as much as you love him, you're still furious with him, and to let him know that, you smacked him," Paulina said.

"Exactly!" Felicia exclaimed.

Now it was Paulina's turn to sigh. "It's been almost a month since he came back, Felicia. Sooner or later, you're going to have to sit down with Lucas and hash everything out."

"Paulina, I'm afraid," Felicia replied, desperately searching the younger woman's eyes, willing her to understand where Felicia was coming from. "I'm afraid to trust Luke again. I'm afraid to tell him about what happened to me, and to the girls, while he was away. He'll blame himself, I know he will. Or he'll think I do, and honestly I don't."

"I know," Paulina said. "I believe you. And I understand your fears better than probably anyone else could. It was hard for me to trust Jake again." She paused, then looked Felicia right in the eyes. "If you let the walls drop, and you're not angry at Lucas anymore, then all you're left with is the fear."

"And it's a fear unlike any I have ever known," Felicia replied.

Paulina nodded. "No one can make the decision for you but you, Felicia. But even if you never trust him again, you're going to have to hash everything out with Lucas. You're going to have to get his side of things...and you're going to have to tell him yours."

Felicia ducked her head. "There's one other thing I'm afraid of....." she said softly, trailing off.

"What's that?" Paulina asked gently.

Felicia didn't look up at Paulina. "What he'll think of me when he finds out about my drinking. Luke blaming himself is only one problem. Him knowing what I did...what I said...how I hurt everyone, especially Lorna and Jenna..."

Paulina reached out and took one of Felicia's hands in both of her own. "It won't be easy," she agreed. "You and Lucas will have to forgive each other for a lot of things. I know that Jake and I had to forgive each other for a lot of things. But carrying all of this around by yourself isn't any good either, Felicia," she continued in the same gentle tone.

"I know," Felicia said. She finally looked up at Paulina. "But how do I get up the nerve to face Luke, and find the courage to hear him out and to tell him what I did and said, and what happened to our daughters, while he was gone?"

Paulina didn't know what to say to that, so she just squeezed Felicia's hand reassuringly.
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"This is very good for a first draft," Iris told Jenna, "but you need to tighten it up some, especially here," she pointed to the third paragraph, then shuffled pages, "and here," she pointed to another paragraph.

Jenna nodded. "What if I move this part," she tapped something on the second page with her pen, "to the third paragraph?"

"Very good, very good," Iris replied approvingly.

Suddenly the door to Iris's office flew open and Lucas burst in. "Iris, I have to talk to you right now, it's an emergency!" he exclaimed. He took three steps inside the office, then stopped short when he saw Iris and Jenna seated in Iris's visitors' chairs, looking up from a sheaf of papers that Iris was holding.

Carol, Iris's secretary, was right on Lucas's heels. "Sir, I told you, Mrs. Wheeler is in a story meeting with Mrs. Frame!" Carol then looked to Iris and Jenna. "I told him you were in a meeting, Mrs. Wheeler, but he just blew right past me and came storming in here."

"It's all right, Carol," Iris assured her.

Jenna's eyes narrowed. "Are you following me now?" she wanted to know.

"I had no idea you'd be here, I swear it!" Lucas exclaimed. "But I would like to talk to you, Jenna. Really talk, I mean."

"I have a deadline," Jenna replied. She took the papers from Iris, returned them to their file folder, then put the folder in her briefcase. "You'll have the rewrite on your desk by the end of business today," she told Iris. Then she picked up her briefcase and left Iris's office, brushing past Carol, who was still standing in the doorway, as she went.

"Carol, hold my calls," Iris said.

"Yes, Mrs. Wheeler," Carol replied, leaving Iris's office and closing the door behind her.

"I really didn't know Jenna was here," Lucas said. "I came to see you."

"I believe you," Iris replied, sitting behind her own desk again and motioning Lucas to one of the visitors' chairs. "What's happened? Have you made any progress with Felicia?"

"Yes and no," Lucas said as he sat down. "I had a great time with little Lucas yesterday, and Fanny kept her cool. So did I. But after Dean picked him up...well..."

"Well what?" Iris asked, leaning forward.

"I wanted to talk to Fanny, really talk," Lucas replied. "We started to argue, then the next thing I know she's kissing me, and then she smacks me and runs out on me." He sighed. "Jenna still isn't speaking to me, as you noticed. I can't go to Lorna with this, because I don't want her going to Fanny and the two of them getting into an argument about me. I interrupted Cass and Frankie's evening last night. Cass thought it was my payback for him and Frankie interrupting the honeymoon afternoon Fanny and I had after we got married--"

"Stop right there," Iris said. "I never need to hear about your honeymoon with Felicia, past or future. You do know why she smacked you, don't you?"

"She's scared," Lucas replied. "Cass and Frankie helped me see that." Now Lucas leaned forward in his chair. "I need to talk to her, Iris. I'm trying to be patient, but that kiss...It's been five years. I miss my wife. I miss my family. My whole family."

"I was in self-imposed exile from my family a lot longer than you were away from yours," Iris said. "And you're right, you do need to talk. But that's between you and Felicia."

Lucas sighed. "If I could just get her to listen to me, I think I could make her understand why I did what I did. I don't even care if she smacks me again. I really don't. I deserve that and worse. But we're not going to get anywhere until we really talk, and I honestly don't know how to get Fanny to talk to me, and to listen to what I have to say and really hear it."

Iris leaned back in her chair, knowing she had to tread lightly not only because of how Felicia and Lorna felt about her, but also because of her own past with Lucas, and the fact that Iris had no idea what, if anything, about Felicia's drinking Lucas knew. "Surely there were times in the past when you were together and Felicia was scared," Iris said.

"Two 17-year-olds from one of the roughest neighborhoods in Chicago who found out they were going to be parents...Our pictures should have been in the dictionary next to the word 'terrified,'" Lucas replied. "But we leaned on each other back then."

"What about more recently?" Iris inquired. "What about when you came back into Felicia's life? Or during your marriage?"

"It wasn't the same kind of fear," Lucas said, "but Fanny was worried about the kind of mother she'd be to Jenna when Jenna came into our lives. Worried about how I'd take having an instant teenage daughter. And of course everything with Lorna as soon as Fanny made the connection with the mercury dime..." Lucas trailed off then. "But there again, it was nothing we couldn't talk out. Right now, she's too scared to even talk to me. Cass and Frankie are right. So how do I get Fanny to stop being afraid long enough to talk to me?"

"If I knew, I'd tell you," Iris replied.

"Yeah," Lucas said, clasping his hands and resting his elbows on his knees as he leaned forward. "But you don't know, and I don't know...does anyone?"

Iris could only look at Lucas sympathetically in reply.
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Jenna was typing away at her keyboard--Dean had taken Lucas to the park to play so neither of them would be underfoot while Jenna was on deadline--when the doorbell rang.

"Just a minute!" Jenna called as she rose from her desk chair. She finished her paragraph, saved the document, then hurried to the door. "What, did my men forget something?" she asked as she threw the door open. The smile on her face abruptly died when she saw Lorna standing on the other side and not, as she had thought, Dean and little Lucas. "Did he send you over here?" she demanded.

"Who?" Lorna asked.

"Lucas," Jenna replied.

"No, he didn't," Lorna said. "Did you see him?"

"He showed up at Cory to see Iris in the middle of our story meeting," Jenna replied. "I'm on a deadline, so I have to get going." She started to close the door, but Lorna blocked it with her foot.

"You're going to have to talk to Daddy at some point," Lorna said.

"Well, it's not going to be today," Jenna replied.

"Well, when IS it going to be?" Lorna pressed as she threw her weight against the door and forced her way into Dean and Jenna's house.

"Get off my back, Lorna!" Jenna warned her angrily.

"You blew up at him at my wedding, and you haven't spoken to him since, have you?" Lorna challenged.

"I would think that would thrill you," Jenna said, glaring at Lorna. "You get to be the good daughter now, because you're the one talking to him and having lunch with him and trying to push him and Mom back together, and I'm the heartless little brat who's giving him the silent treatment."

Lorna sighed as she closed the front door and then turned to face Jenna again. "You know, once upon a time, it would have thrilled me, Jenna. But not anymore. Because believe it or not, you're my sister, he's our father, I love both of you, and not having you in his life is hurting him. But he insists that the first move has to be yours. So the ball's in your court, little sister."

"I'll talk to him when I'm ready to talk to him, Lorna!" Jenna shouted.

"And will that be before or after Hell freezes over?" Lorna wanted to know.

In response, Jenna grabbed Lorna and shook her. "LEAVE ME ALONE!" she screamed.

"OW!" Lorna yelled in pain as Jenna caught hold of her hair and pulled at it. "What the hell--JENNA! LET GO OF MY HAIR!" Lorna managed to pry Jenna's hands off of her, then shove her backward and away from her. Jenna's face was red with anger, and Lorna's was pinched with pain. "Are you crazy?!" Lorna demanded to know. "If Lucas ever did that, you'd put him in a time out so fast..."

"Well, Lucas didn't pull your hair, Lorna! I DID!"

"Oh, VERY mature. A married mother of a two-year-old, pulling her sister's hair because she's mad." Lorna touched the back of her head. "I think you pulled out a chunk!"

"Oh, stop being so melodramatic!" Jenna said.

"I'M melodramatic?!" Lorna asked incredulously. "You're the one that's avoiding Daddy like the plague, and I'M melodramatic?"

"He LIED to us, Lorna! He let us think he was dead!" Jenna shouted.

"I know, Jenna. I was there! But he's BACK now." Lorna shouted right back.

"And you can just forgive him for that?" Jenna asked.

"Yes, I can," Lorna replied firmly. "I'm a little disappointed that you can't. Isn't that what the nuns preached to you all those years at the convent? Forgiveness? Turning the other cheek?"

"Well, I slept with my boyfriend, made a porn flick, and got pregnant out of wedlock, so stop with all the nun stuff already," Jenna replied. "As you can see, I didn't learn much from the convent."

"Oh, you want to drag the porn tape into this now?" Lorna asked. "That's just FINE! But if you would just talk to our father, you'd have a much better understanding about that whole thing, and the part it played in everything that's happened to our family both then and now."

"What are you talking about, Lorna?" Jenna asked, the glare on her face turning to a puzzled frown. "What does that tape have to do with why Lucas let us think he was dead for five years?"

"Oh no. You want to know, you're gonna have to to ask Daddy yourself!" Lorna exclaimed.

"NOW who's being immature?" Jenna retorted.

"I already told you, when it comes to you and Daddy, the ball is in your court," Lorna said. "If you want to go on hurting him--"

"ME hurt HIM?" Jenna asked incredulously. "That's it! Get out of my house! Right now! I have work to do, and I'm NOT going to talk about this with you anymore, Lorna!"

Lorna held up her hands. "You want me to leave? I'll leave," she said. But when she got to the front door, she turned back and looked at Jenna. "You know, even though Daddy's back now, you still had two years with him that I didn't have, and that I'm never gonna get. Both of us came into his life when we were more or less grown up, but he loved you from the start and he's always been proud of you, and he let you know that every chance he had. Doesn't that count for anything with you? Or are you that bitter that you can't realize what an incredible gift it is to have him back and to make that really count?" Lorna then stormed out of the house, slamming the front door behind her.

Jenna sank to the floor where she was as the impact of Lorna's words fully hit her. For the first time since Lucas's return, Jenna realized she had a serious decision to make. She could either go on punishing the only father she'd ever known--the father who taught her to drive, didn't blame her when she totaled his car only weeks after getting her driver's license, went out and bought her the prom dress she really wanted to surprise her after she initially passed it up because she thought it was too expensive, encouraged her dancing, and finally accepted Dean as the man she loved after all the times he tried to throw Dean out of her life, and did throw Dean out of their house.

Or she could let go of her anger and all the pain she'd learned to live with in the last five years, and let the father she had loved and missed all this time back into her life...and into the life of her son, whom she named for him.

Jenna never did know how long she sat there. When Dean and little Lucas came in from the park, she was still sitting on the floor. Lucas was riding on his father's shoulders. Dean stopped in his tracks and braced Lucas's legs against his chest with his hands when they saw Jenna sitting on the floor.

"Jen?" Dean asked anxiously.

"Mommy?" little Lucas asked, his tone of voice mirroring his father's.

Jenna looked up at her husband and son. "Lorna was here," she said. "I think...I mean, I... Well, first I have to finish this article, and then I have to..." She trailed off. Dean knelt down beside Jenna, little Lucas still on his shoulders. Jenna met his concerned gaze. "Have I been wrong, Dean? To not forgive my father, to not talk to him?"

"You're the only one who can answer that question, honey," Dean said gently. "I'm guessing Lorna thinks you've been wrong?"

"Yeah," Jenna said. "Only now she's got me thinking that maybe I've been wrong too."

Dean regarded his wife for a moment. "I'll take care of dinner," he said. "You finish your article and get it sent in, and after this guy," Dean lifted Lucas off his shoulders and set him on his feet next to him, "is tucked in, we can talk about this...if you want to talk about it, I mean."

"I do," Jenna said. "I really do." She leaned forward, kissed little Lucas, and then kissed Dean.
**************************************************************************************************** ******

"Felicia's definitely scared," Paulina confirmed. Shortly after Felicia had left the Paradise, Iris had come in, and she and Paulina were swapping details about their respective meetings with Felicia and Lucas.

"That seems to be the consensus," Iris agreed. "But until she talks to Lucas, they aren't going to get anything settled."

"That's what I told Felicia," Paulina replied. "But I couldn't tell her how to get past the feeling of being scared to open up to Lucas."

"I couldn't tell Lucas how to get Felicia to stop being scared long enough to talk to him, either," Iris said.

"Why are you two talking about my parents?" Lorna asked. Iris and Paulina both turned to look at Lorna, and she was staring at them with a frown.

"We've been trying to help them," Iris said. "You know that I've been a friend to your father, Lorna."

"And I've been here for Felicia," Paulina said. "I went through a very similar situation to hers myself, with Jake. And after what happened last night--"

"Paulina!" Iris said sharply.

"What happened last night?" Lorna asked, looking back and forth between the two women.

"It's not our place to tell you," Iris said.

"Iris is right," Paulina added quickly.

"If something happened with my parents, don't you think I have the right to know?" Lorna asked.

Iris and Paulina exchanged a look. Then Paulina looked to Lorna. "Your mother and father kissed last night," she said.

"They WHAT?!" Lorna exclaimed. "Who initiated it--Felicia or Lucas?"

"Your mother," Iris replied.

"Mom? Mom kissed Daddy? Why am I just now finding out about this? And finding out about it third-hand?" Lorna asked.

"Because after she kissed him, Felicia slapped him," Paulina said. "And Felicia knew if she told you, you'd only focus on the kiss, not the smack."

"And Lucas didn't want to get your hopes up," Iris added. "They both wound up going to Cass and Frankie's last night, interrupting some romantic evening the two of them were having. Lucas didn't come to see me, and Felicia didn't come to see Paulina, until today. In spite of the kiss, they obviously still have a long way to go."

"Maybe not as long as you think, Iris," Lorna said. The wheels began to turn in her mind, and she looked deep in thought but at the same a slow smile spread across her face as Paulina and Iris both regarded her.

"What's that look for?" Paulina asks suspiciously.

"She's plotting something," Iris said. "I know that look. I've seen it in the mirror a thousand times."

Lorna's smile grew wider as she continued to stare into the distance, talking all the while. "The whole problem is that they won't just sit down and hash everything out. Mom kissing Daddy PROVES that I've been right all along, and she DOES still love him! Now enough is enough. They obviously need a push, and who better to give it to them than me?" Then she looked at Paulina and Iris. "With a little help from both of you. Paulina, can I use the phone?"

Paulina placed the phone on the counter. Lorna picked it up and punched in a number. Iris and Paulina watched Lorna with interest as she opened her mouth and spoke. "Hello, Frankie? It's Lorna. Listen, I need you and Cass to help me out with something for Mom and Daddy, can I come over tonight to talk to you about it when Cass gets home from work?"

"He's home now, Lorna. He took the day off," Frankie replied.

"Great! Tell him to pick up the extension, or to share the phone with you. And hurry," Lorna replied.

"Lorna?" Cass asked a few seconds later.

"You still there too, Frankie?" Lorna asked.

"I'm still here," Frankie replied.

"How would you like to NOT have my mother and father interrupt another romantic evening for you two?" Lorna asked.

"What did you have in mind?" Cass asked.

"A complex yet simple plan that will require the two of you to help me, Paulina McKinnon, and Iris Wheeler make my parents talk everything out once and for all," Lorna replied. "Are you in?"

"What does it involve?" Frankie asked.

"And is it legal?" Cass added.

"Technically, yes, it's legal," Lorna replied. "But even if they would decide to press charges, Cass, you're a lawyer, and I'm married to the police captain, so I think we could get out of it."

"Let's hear it," Cass said.

Lorna leaned on the bar so that Paulina and Iris would be able to hear her too, and began, "Well, it's like this..."

TO BE CONTINUED
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