This is a story about our Three Musketeers: Cass, Felicia & Wallingford. It takes place in March of 1985, shortly after the destruction of Tall Boys. After a bit of drama, there's silliness in store!
"Royal Pain" Part 1
Felicia Gallant is home in bed. She's suffering from a bad case of influenza, not realizing the severity of her illness. Her teeth chatter from the chills accompanying her rising fever as she drifts in and out of consciousness. What seems like a few hours in bed has actually been seven days.
The next thing Felicia is aware of is someone spooning chicken broth into her mouth. The warm liquid soothes her throat as she swallows. A familiar voice speaks to her as she struggles to open her eyes.
Voice: Come on, Felicia. Just a few more spoonfuls and you can rest.
Felicia's eyes are now finally open and she looks into Wallingford's face. He's trying not to look as worried as he feels.
Felicia: (weakly) Wally,...what...how...?
Wally: Ssh! Don't try to talk now. Just finish your soup.
Felicia obeys. Noticing something different about her surroundings, she tries to sit up in bed but falls back onto the pillows.
Felicia: (looking around) This isn't my bedroom. Where are we, Wally?
Wally: The hospital. There's a flu epidemic. Most everyone in Bay City is here. Schools and businesses are all closed. The Governor's declared a state of emergency. (sighs) We thought it would be best to have everyone, including you, in one place where we could care for them.
Felicia: "We?"
Wally: Cass and I. We're the only ones who aren't sick...yet.
Cass walks into the room and smiles to see Felicia awake.
Cass: Hi, gorgeous! Welcome back!
Felicia smiles weakly.
Cass: Oh, Wally. You've got a phone call. Long distance, I think.
Wally: Thanks, Cass. (to Felicia) I'll be right back. Stay in that bed!
Felicia: (saluting him) Yes, sir!
Wally chuckles and rolls his eyes. He walks out into the hallway and makes his way to the nearby telephone. He picks up the receiver.
Wally: (into phone) Hello?
A crisp, British-accented male voice answers him.
Voice: Is that you, Cousin Wallingford?
Wally nearly drops the phone in recognition of the caller.
Wally: Wilberforce?!! It's been years!
Wilberforce: Yes, quite. (pauses) I tried phoning you at home and was told you were in hospital. Are you all right?
Wally: (irritably) Yes, I'm fine. But there's a flu epidemic. I'm trying to help get everyone back on their feet.
Wilberforce falls silent, not sure how to respond.
Wally: (taps his foot impatiently) Was there something you wanted, Wilberforce?
Wally now has a slight fever, but doesn't notice.
Wilberforce: Um, yes. Great-Aunt Ruby asked me to phone you...about your title...
Wally: (fiercely) I renounced my title years ago! She knows why and so do you!
Wilberforce: Oh, but...
Wally: I have nothing more to say about this! Goodbye!
Wally slams the receiver down and takes a deep breath before going back into Felicia's room. He has now started shaking uncontrollably due to his rising fever and starts hallucinating in Technicolor.
As he walks into the room, Wally sees Felicia still in bed and Cass seated in chair next to her. To his amazement they are both wearing clown costumes. He shakes his head in disbelief and takes a second look. Now Felicia and Cass are in Kiss makeup and costumes. She is dressed as Paul Stanley and Cass is Gene Simmons.
Wally: (thinking) Get a grip, Wallingford!
Wally takes another look. Now Felicia and Cass are dressed as Jeannie and Major Nelson from I Dream of Jeannie.
All the color has now drained from Wally's face. Felicia, still dressed as Jeannie exchanges a worried glance with Cass.
Felicia: (to Wally) Art thou all right, Master?
Cass: (rising from his chair) I'll call Dr. Bellows.
Before he can answer, Wally's eyes roll back in his head and he faints.
"Royal Pain" is my story. I thought I was logged in while typing it up. Is there any way to put my name and avatar on the first installment so everyone knows it was written by me?
Sorry for any confusion. Thanks in advance. _________________ WWWD? (What would Wallingford do?)
OMG ~ that was the best!! At first I was a bit confused as I didn't see any of the Tall Boys stuff (started watching in 1986) so I didn't know if Wilburforce was real, etc. but then as I read further and Cass & Felicia turned into Paul Stanley & Gene Simmons, then Jeannie and Major Nelson, I was rolling!! What a clever way to turn our favorite AW peeps into favorite characters outside of AW!!!
LOVE the way Wally was taking care of Felicia (like only he, and Cass, could).
Please keep going with this! And if you don't mind ~ can you give me a quick synopsis of the whole Tall Boys s/l. All I know is that it was a restaurant that Felicia plowed over in a car/truck. Didn't she own it (before the Northwoods Inn, which, BTW, she did not insure and lost that in a fire too.). Felicia was not a great businesswoman (the lack of insurance is why Wally is wincing in my video ~ Felicia just told him and the insurance guy that she saw the late notices on the insurance but ignored them).
Wendy can get in and change you from *Guest* and I'm sure she'll do so the next time she checks in!!!
I'm so glad yer comin' to the board, *pinkblink*!!!
A _________________ "It has been a magnificent journey..." ~ Linda Dano, 1999 Daytime Emmys
Wilberforce & Great-Aunt Ruby are characters I created just for this fanfic. I'm not sure how many more (if any) characters I'll be adding since I'm posting installments as fast as I can write them.
Since Wallingford never really had a backstory during the run of AW, I'm attempting to give him one. One thing that always bothered me was the fact that we never knew if "Wallingford" was his first or last name.
And now, here's my answer to your Tall Boys question.
Spoiler:
OK. The way I recall it, Wally needed to make money fast after having lost quite a bit at the racetrack. The quickest way he could do this was to drive an 18-wheeler (carrying a female gorilla named Carolyn) to a zoo so she could mate. Somehow he persuaded Felicia to go along and help him out. The story took place in mid-March, so it was winter. I'm not sure whether it was ice on the road or brake failure (or maybe a combination of the two). I do remember Wally was steering and Felicia was screaming as they crashed into Tall Boys, demolishing it. I don't remember much after that, but at some point Wally and Felicia spent a night trapped in a cage with Carolyn!
I don't think Felicia ever owned or managed Tall Boys.
Hope this helps a bit.
Quote:
I'm so glad yer comin' to the board, *pinkblink*!!!
Thank you! Me too. I'm really having fun here!
I'll talk to you later. _________________ WWWD? (What would Wallingford do?)
Ah...your explanation puts this pic in perspective now ~ the gorilla cage must be inside the truck. I never knew that. So then does Cass come to rescue them and that's when the gorilla fell in *love* with Cass? I wasn't so crazy about TPTB bringing back the gorilla in the last week of the show ~ there were so many other ways they could have ended it. How's about Cass dumping Lila and Felicia dumping Sergei, they take each other's hands and, along with Charlie, they walk literally, into the sunset? Do they remain *just friends* the rest of their lives or ??? Fans could still be arguing about it to this day. But NOOOO....instead, they bring back the gorilla. Hmphf!
A _________________ "It has been a magnificent journey..." ~ Linda Dano, 1999 Daytime Emmys
You cannot post new topics in this forum You cannot reply to topics in this forum You cannot edit your posts in this forum You cannot delete your posts in this forum You cannot vote in polls in this forum
Me too. I'm really having fun here!
