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pinkblink
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| Posted: Wed Oct 22, 2008 12:09 pm Post subject: "Stranger Than Fiction" |
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This story resumes where "Royal Pain" left off. So, without further ado...
"Stranger Than Fiction" Part 1
Wallingford is at home alone one rainy afternoon. As he studies the latest racing form, there is a knock at his door. He's certain that Felicia Gallant has come by as promised. He closes his eyes and smiles as he opens the door.
Wally: Hi, beautiful! How are you?
Cass Winthrop is standing there holding a brown paper bag and looking amused.
Cass: (chuckling) Much better, puddin' pop!
Wally opens his eyes and the smile vanishes. He mutters a few choice words under his breath.
Wally: (sputters) Puddin' pop?! Cass, you idiot! (composes himself) I thought you were Felicia.
Cass: Sorry, Wally! I couldn't resist with the opening you gave me. (pause) May I come in?
Wally nods a bit begrudgingly, and opens the door wider as Cass brushes past him and hands him the paper bag.
Cass: Oh, by the way, I got the spiral-bound notebooks and ink pens you asked for.
Wally: (smiling again) Great! Did I give you enough money?
Cass: Yes. In fact, you're getting change back.
Cass reaches into his pocket and hands Wally a wad of cash.
Cass: So, what are you going to do with all this paper? Going back to college, I assume?
Wally fidgets and tries to change the subject. He doesn't really want to discuss his plans with Cass.
Wally: Um, not exactly.
To Wally's great relief, the telephone rings.
Wally: (thinking) Saved by the bell! (speaks into phone) Hello?
Felicia: Hi, Wally! It's Felicia.
Wally: (grins) Felicia, it's so good to hear your voice.
Cass silently gets Wally's attention and mouths the words, "We'll talk later." Wally nods as Cass walks out the door.
Felicia: I'm sorry, but I can't stop by today after all. My book signing's taking longer than I expected.
Wally tries not to let on that he's terribly disappointed.
Wally: Oh, that's OK, Felicia. I do have something to show you, but it can wait.
Felicia: You're not angry with me, are you, Wally?
Wally: Never! You know me better than that.
Felicia: (relieved) Thanks, honey. I'll talk to you later.
Wally: I look forward to it. Bye for now.
Wally hangs up the phone and removes a spiral-bound notebook with a red cover from the bag. He also grabs a package of ballpoint pens. He carefully opens the notebook to the first page and scribbles a title: "Love Finds Washington" by Wallingford Wolfgang Witherspoon, the 24th.
He sits back, mortified by his full name. He shudders for a moment, then continues writing: "Washington was a small man with a big heart. Before moving from the country to faraway May City, he had felt alone and unloved. Then one day, Washington knew his life had changed forever when he met the beautiful and glamorous Alicia Lamont."
Wally stops to look at what he's written so far.
Wally: (thinking) I can't wait for Felicia to see this! It's turning out better than I'd hoped. Felicia's always telling budding novelists to write what they know. Won't she be proud when she sees that she's inspired my first novel? Of course, the names will all be changed to keep from offending anyone. Hmm. Let's see...what should I call Cass Winthrop's character? (pause) I've got it! Sass Winslow! Sass can be short for, uh...Sassafras!
With renewed energy, Wally happily goes back to writing his novel.
To be continued... |
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CassnFrankie4Ever
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| Posted: Wed Oct 22, 2008 2:38 pm Post subject: |
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YAY!!!! I was hoping there'd be a follow-up to "Royal Pain." Sass Winslow, LOL! This is gonna be fun! I can't wait to see Felicia's, and Cass's, reactions to the book, and to Wallingford's full name.
Amy
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AWFanAgain
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| Posted: Wed Oct 22, 2008 4:21 pm Post subject: |
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Squeeee!! The saga continues!!! This so reminds me of Another World meets I Dream of Jeannie!!
A 
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pinkblink
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| Posted: Fri Oct 24, 2008 10:38 am Post subject: |
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“Stranger Than Fiction” Part 2
A few hours later, Wallingford is still fervently writing his novel. Just as he stops to take yet another look at the work he’s done, his telephone rings. This startles him, causing his notebook to go flying across the room.
Wally: (grumbling) It’s getting to be like Grand Central Station around here! (picks up phone) Hello?
Cass: Hi, Wally! It’s Cass. Are you busy?
Wally: Yes, but I could use a break. Is something bothering you, Cass? You sound funny.
Cass: Nothing’s bothering me, really. I just need to talk to you in person. Do you mind if I drop by again?
Wally: Of course not. And since it’s so close to dinner time, I’ll order in some Chinese food.
Cass: Sounds great! I’ll be right over.
Wally: OK. See you soon.
Wally hangs up the phone and walks across the room to retrieve his notebook.
Wally: (thinking) I’d better not leave this thing lying around. Cass asks enough questions as it is.
Wally finally decides to stuff the notebook under the sofa cushion. Picking up the phone again, he calls the Chinese restaurant and places his order. Ten minutes later, there’s a knock at the door.
Wally: (yells) Just a minute, Cass!
He opens the door, expecting to see Cass. However, a lovely blonde-haired woman is standing outside holding what appears to be a Chinese takeout order. She’s wearing a name tag, but it’s faded and Wally can’t quite make out the writing on it. He’s sure he’s seen this woman before.
Woman: (smiles warmly) Hello! Are you called Wallingford?
Wally: (returning the smile) Yes. Is that my order?
Woman: (glancing at the receipt in her hand) Hmm…let me see. Two orders of Peking duck, crab rangoon, egg-fried rice and fortune cookies?
Wally: That’s right. What do I owe you?
Woman: Ten dollars, please.
Wally reaches into his pocket and pulls out a ten-dollar bill. He hands it to the woman, who hands him the delicious-smelling containers.
Wally: And here’s a little something for you.
He hands her two one-dollar bills.
Woman: (flustered) Oh, I do not think my Mas…uh, boss would like for me to accept a tip. After all, delivering food is part of my job. Thank you anyway.
She starts to hand the ones back to Wally, who shakes his head.
Wally: Keep it! What your boss doesn’t know won’t hurt him.
Woman: (hesitates) Well, if you insist.
Wally: (matter-of-factly) I do. (pause) Say, I didn’t know the restaurant made such quick deliveries. It’s kinda like magic.
Woman: (giggles) Yes. You could say that. Well, I must go now. Have a wonderful evening.
Wally: You too, Miss…
Woman: Jeannie.
Wally: Jeannie what?
Jeannie: Exactly!
Jeannie waves at Wally and walks away just as Cass shows up. Cass watches her as she departs. Wally gives him a dirty look and punches him in the arm.
Wally: Cass, stop staring at her keister! Get in here!
Cass winces in pain and goes inside. Wally turns around to see if he can still get a glimpse of Jeannie, but she’s already vanished. He follows Cass inside and closes the door. Cass starts to sit down and jumps up again, grabbing his rear end.
Cass: (glares at Wally) What the fu…heck?! First you punch me and now, your sofa bites me in the butt! What’s going on?
Cass starts to reach under the sofa cushion, but Wally stops him.
Wally: (quickly) We’d better eat the food while it’s hot. Then we can talk about whatever it was you wanted to talk about.
Cass gives Wally a sideways glance.
Cass: (tensely) I don’t have a fever anymore, Wallingford. You’re hiding something, and this time I’m gonna find out what it is!
Wally stands there, horrified, as Cass’ hand goes back under the sofa cushion.
To be continued… |
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pinkblink
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| Posted: Tue Oct 28, 2008 1:48 pm Post subject: |
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"Stranger Than Fiction" Part 3
Just as Cass takes hold of Wallingford's hidden notebook, he suddenly stops as if frozen. Wally stands there a moment, wondering if Cass is torturing him deliberately. He taps the frozen Cass on the shoulder.
Wally: (groans) Go ahead and read it, Cass. I wanted Felicia to be the first, but...Cass?!
Cass is still not moving. To Wally's horror, he doesn't even appear to be breathing. Wally instinctively looks at his watch only to find that it has stopped, too.
Wally: (thinking) What's going on here? Have I suddenly gone crazy?
Hearing a popping noise behind him, Wally whirls around in surprise to see an old friend from his school days. He heaves a sigh of relief.
Wally: (smiling) Samantha! Am I ever glad to see you! (laughs nervously) I wasn't expecting you, but I'm glad you're here just the same.
The lady called Samantha stares sadly at Wally. A little girl, about three years old, is by her side. The child smiles and points at Wally.
Girl: (giggles) Leprechaun!
Samantha: (flustered) No, Tabitha. That's my dear friend Wallingford...Uncle Wally, to you!
Tabitha: (more insistent) Uncle Wally...the Leprechaun!
Samantha: (gasps) Tabitha, no!
Just as Samantha's "no" is uttered, Tabitha twitches her nose. Wally is now dressed in green from head to toe!
Samantha: (to Tabitha) You naughty little witch! Just wait 'til I get you home!
Wally: (amused) That's OK. I am slightly Irish. (to Samantha) Now, what gives, Samantha? Why did time suddenly stop?
Samantha: (with effort) I stopped time, Wally. And I'm afraid this isn't a social call.
Wally: What is it, then? What's wrong?
Samantha: It's about the book you've started writing.
Wally gazes at her, confused.
Wally: How did you know about that? I haven't told anyone yet.
Samantha: (smiles wistfully) There's not much that escapes me, my darling Wallingford. (more serious) Not only do I know about your book, I know everything in it from start to finish. That's why I've come here. (near tears) I'm here to arrest you.
Wally's jaw drops. Composing himself, he thinks of Cass.
Wally: What about him? What about everyone who's frozen?
Samantha: (calmly) Everyone you know and love is perfectly fine. I'll remove the spell as soon as I bring you back.
Wally: (thinking) Back from where?
Wally glances at Samantha uncertainly.
Samantha: I heard that! (rolling her eyes) Wally, how long have you known me?
Wally: Practically my whole life!
Samantha: No harm will come to you, I promise! Now, take my hand.
Wally reluctantly takes Samantha's hand in his left, and Tabitha's in his right. They disappear in a puff of smoke.
To be continued... |
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CassnFrankie4Ever
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| Posted: Wed Oct 29, 2008 12:50 pm Post subject: |
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Jeannie as the Chinese food delivery girl, and Samantha and Tabitha Stephens pop in to take Wallingford I have no idea where. LOL at Tabitha putting Wally all in green, and Samantha telling her what a naughty little witch she is. It was always so cute when Tabitha would do something like that and Samantha would have to explain to her why it wasn't right to do that. I think my personal favorite was the time she turned the preschool bully into a toad. Had I had that power, half my class growing up would have been frogs. Looking forward to seeing what happens next!
Amy
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pinkblink
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| Posted: Fri Oct 31, 2008 10:57 am Post subject: |
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“Stranger Than Fiction” Part 4
When Wallingford reappears with Samantha and Tabitha, he finds himself in a forest unlike any he’s ever seen. Instead of the trees and flowers looking like those in a normal forest, they are all bright psychedelic colors. Wally closes his eyes and begins muttering to himself.
Wally: This is all just a dream…this is all just a dream…this is all just a dream…
Samantha lays a sympathetic hand on his shoulder.
Samantha: It’s OK, Wally. We’re in a different realm.
Wally opens his eyes and gazes at Samantha.
Wally: You’re absolutely sure I won’t be harmed?
Samantha: (smiles reassuringly) Absolutely!
Suddenly, a makeshift courtroom appears near them. A startled Wally shrieks and jumps involuntarily into Samantha’s arms.
Samantha: (chuckles) Don’t be so nervous, dear! That’s just my mother’s way of showing off.
As if on cue, Endora, a red-haired lady in a purple caftan appears before them. She smiles at Samantha and Tabitha.
Endora: Samantha, darling! Tabitha, my precious granddaughter!
By now, Wally has composed himself enough to stand on his own two feet and nervously nod a greeting to Endora. Endora, however scowls at him.
Endora: (in a pseudo-sweet voice) And how is the guilty mortal? What was your name again…Washboard?
Wally: (thunderstruck) The name’s Wallingford! I’m not guilty of anything, Endora!
Endora: (scoffs) You’re mortal! That’s enough for me! Unfortunately, I’m neither the judge nor a member of the jury.
As Wally heaves a sigh of relief, Endora moves as close to him as possible.
Endora: (hissing in his ear) I’m your worst nightmare, Waffles!
Wally: No, you’re not!
Endora: (surprised) I…I’m not?! Well, what is?
Wally: (with all the bravery he can muster) Waking up next to you!
Samantha gasps, seriously hoping that Endora won’t do anything drastic.
Endora: (snarls) Enough! Let the trial begin!
As Endora walks toward a cluster of pink evergreen trees, Samantha looks over Wally’s leprechaun attire with a critical eye.
Samantha: Your outfit’s not quite up to courtroom standards, Wally.
She smiles knowingly at Tabitha.
Samantha: Well, young lady, it’s your spell. You fix Uncle Wally up accordingly.
Tabitha giggles and twitches her nose. Wally’s outfit is now completely covered in green sequins. He groans softly.
Tabitha: (grins) I made Uncle Wally pretty!
Samantha: Thank you, Tabitha. (to Wally) Now, you look like a real leprechaun!
Wally stares at the sequins in frustration.
Wally: (thinking) I feel like something that got coughed up by Liberace!
To be continued... |
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pinkblink
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| Posted: Tue Nov 04, 2008 8:17 am Post subject: |
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"Stranger Than Fiction" Part 5
Wally gives Samantha a pained look.
Wally: No offense, but I'd rather wear my own clothes. Could I have something a little more comfortable?
Samantha: (nods) I suppose Tabitha did go overboard.
Samantha twitches her nose, and Wally is instantly wearing his own pajamas and a blue bathrobe. He's surprised, but says nothing.
Wally: (thinking) That's not exactly what I meant, but it beats sequins any day!
He hears Samantha's voice inside his head.
Samantha: (thinking) I'm glad you didn't say that out loud, Wallingford. You'd break poor Tabitha's heart!
Wally, who's not accustomed to having people read his mind, tries to get some answers.
Wally: Why am I under arrest, Samantha? You said it had something to do with my book.
Samantha: (sighs) Yes, but not the entire book. Only certain parts are offensive to those of us in the television realm. For example, you exposed me as a witch...we can't allow that! And you know the true identities of the Incredible Hulk and Wonder Woman...
Wally: But I changed all the names...
Samantha: It doesn't matter. The names are too close to their actual counterparts. If your book is published the way it is now, I'm afraid you may be severely punished.
Wally: (wide-eyed) Punished...how? You promised I wouldn't be harmed!
Samantha: You won't, Wally, but you may never be able to return to Bay City!
Wally bites his lower lip. More than ever, he longs to be near Felicia. And he wishes Cass was giving him a hard time, too.
Samantha: It'll be OK, Wally. If you rewrite the book, leaving out the parts pertaining to the television realm, you can go back home. It's really quite simple.
Wally: But everyone in the television realm is part of my life, too! I can't forget that!
Samantha: (patiently) Nobody's asking you to forget. Just don't put it in your book.
Wally: (rolls his eyes) OK. Who do I talk to?
Samantha: The judge...and here he is now.
Thundering footsteps echo through the forest. Wally turns around to face what seems to be Frankenstein's monster.
Wally: (somewhat relieved) Oh! Hi, Herman!
Herman Munster grins broadly. Excited to see his old friend, he picks up Wally and twirls him around several times.
Herman: Wally! It's been ages!
Wally: (sputtering) Herman, unless you want to see what I had for lunch, p-please put me down!
Herman gently sets Wally back down on the ground.
Herman: Sorry, Wally. I guess I don't know my own strength.
Endora clears her throat in order to get everyone's attention.
Endora: (shouting) All rise!
Samantha: We are standing, Mother. There's no place for us to sit!
Endora: (continues) This is the courtroom of the television realm, with the honorable Herman Munster presiding!
Endora waves her hands, and suddenly Herman is wearing a judge's robe. He looks dismayed.
Herman: Why did you put me in a dress?
Endora: (irritated) It's not a dress! Get on with the trial!
Herman: (sits in the judge's chair, nearly breaking it) Ahem! (to Wally) State your name.
Wally, who's ears are popping from having been twirled in the air, doesn't properly hear the question.
Wally: Illinois.
Samantha smacks herself in the head when she realizes the trouble.
Samantha: (loudly) He said state your name, not name your state!
To be continued... |
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pinkblink
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| Posted: Wed Nov 05, 2008 12:25 pm Post subject: |
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"Stranger Than Fiction" Part 6
Wally: (to everyone) Excuse me a minute, folks.
Wally reaches into one of his bathrobe pockets and takes out a stick of chewing gum, which he quickly unwraps and puts in his mouth. After a few moments of chewing, his ears are back to normal.
Wally: (to Herman) Could you repeat the question, Herman....I mean, Your Honor?
Herman: (bewildered) I haven't asked any yet. You just need to state your name.
Wally: Wallingford.
Endora: (suspiciously) Is that your full name?
Wally: I wish! (pause) No. It's um...it's Wallingford Wolfgang Witherspoon, the 24th.
Endora snorts. Herman gives her a dirty look and bangs his gavel.
Herman: (continues) And you currently reside in Bay City, Illinois?
Wally: Yes.
Herman: What can you tell me about the book you're writing, Love Finds Washington?
Wally: It's a fictionalized account of my life and adventures. I guess I started writing it mainly to prove something to myself.
Herman: To yourself, or to a certain Felicia Gallant?
Wally: Well, Felicia's opinion means everything to me...
Herman smiles knowingly.
Herman: I think Felicia means everything to you.
Wally: (sighs) Yes. I love her.
Herman: I understand. (pause) And now, there's the matter of the things you've written about the television realm. If you agree to leave those things out of your book, all will be forgiven and you can go home. Do you agree, Wally?
Wally: Gladly!
Herman: Good! The charges are hereby dropped.
Herman bangs the gavel one last time and stands up. Endora knows there's nothing more she can say or do to antagonize Wally, so she simply vanishes. Samantha and Tabitha joyfully rush over to him.
Samantha: Now, there's only one thing left to do.
Wally: (alarmed) What's that?
Samantha: Kiss the girl and live happily ever after.
As Samantha says these words, Wally lurches forward into heavy fog. When he gets his bearings again, he finds himself at the bookstore where Felicia has been signing copies of her latest romance novel. Time is still frozen and Felicia is alone in the store. Her eyes are closed and she looks exhausted. Wally sees her standing there and makes a snap decision. He sets a stepstool close to her, then climbs up on it. He embraces Felicia and kisses her passionately, causing time to resume. Felicia moans softly and puts her arms around him. Then, she slowly opens her eyes.
Felicia: (flustered) Wallingford?! Where did you come from...and why are you in your bathrobe?
Wally: (thinking) Uh-oh! How do I explain this? Oh, well!
He kisses Felicia again.
To be continued... |
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CassnFrankie4Ever
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| Posted: Thu Nov 06, 2008 4:37 pm Post subject: |
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This is GREAT! Herman Munster as the judge, I love it! And you've really got Endora down: "What's your name...Washboard?"
I loved Wally's line about waking up next to Endora being his worst nightmare. Oh, if Darin, Maurice, and Uncle Arthur had heard that, I think they all would have been in serious trouble!
And Wally kissed Felicia! Watching him explain this one is going to be interesting!
Amy
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AWFanAgain
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| Posted: Thu Nov 06, 2008 11:47 pm Post subject: |
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| Quote: |
Wally: (thinking) Uh-oh! How do I explain this? Oh, well!
He kisses Felicia again. |
 Go Wally!!!
| Quote: |
Endora: (hissing in his ear) I’m your worst nightmare, Waffles!
Wally: (thinking) I feel like something that got coughed up by Liberace! |
LOL!!  
LOVE this!!!
A
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KTinVA3
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| Posted: Thu Nov 06, 2008 11:56 pm Post subject: LOL |
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~~~"Waffles" |
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pinkblink
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| Posted: Fri Nov 07, 2008 8:46 am Post subject: |
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"Stranger Than Fiction" Part 7
Felicia: (dreamily) Oh, Wally! I didn't know you could kiss like that!
Wally: Neither did I!
Felicia: (slightly startled) What?!
Wally: (stammering) I mean...I...you...(composes himself) You smell nice, Felicia. Is that Chanel #5?
Felicia: Mm-hmm. Kiss me again!
Wally lovingly obliges. Felicia continues to moan with pleasure as he caresses her.
Felicia: You know, Wally, I'd like to stop by your place tonight after all.
Wally: I'd like that, too.
Felicia: My car's right outside. We could go now...unless you'd rather wait a while.
Without hesitation, Wally jumps down from the stepstool and pulls Felicia toward the door.
Wally: There's no time like the present!
* * * * *
Back at Wally's apartment, Cass is reading the notebook he found under the sofa cushion. His face flushes red with anger for a moment, then he turns to where he thought Wally had been standing only seconds before.
Cass: Sassafras Winslow? What kind of name is that? (shouts) Wallingford!
He takes a good look around, only to discover that Wally isn't there.
Cass: (mutters) Wail 'til I get my hands on that little creep!
Cass eyes a blank sheet of paper on the nearby table. He picks up a pen and begins to write: "Wally, we need to have a serious talk! I'll be back tomorrow when I'm calmer. -Cass."
He picks up a few containers of the still piping-hot Chinese food.
Cass: (thinking) I may as well take my half with me. There's no telling where Wally is, or when he'll be back.
Cass stuffs some of the Peking duck into his mouth as he stomps out the door.
* * * * *
Thirty minutes later, Felicia is stepping inside Wally's apartment. Wally kisses her hand and takes her coat.
Wally: Make yourself comfortable, Felicia.
Felicia smiles as she kicks off her shoes and sits down on the sofa. She embraces Wally tenderly and looks deep into his eyes.
Felicia: I love you, Wallingford!
Wally: I love you, too, Felicia...more than you know!
He returns her embrace, and they resume their passionate kissing.
To be continued... |
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AWFanAgain
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| Posted: Fri Nov 07, 2008 10:21 am Post subject: |
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I feel like I need to give them some privacy!
A
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| Posted: Sun Nov 09, 2008 11:50 am Post subject: |
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"Stranger Than Fiction" Part 8
The next morning when Wally awakens in Felicia's arms, he can't shake the nagging feeling that something is terribly wrong. He pulls back for a moment, staring intently at Felicia. Her eyes have a strange, almost cat-like glow about them.
Felicia: What is it, Willy? Why are you looking at me that way?
Even her voice seems strange.
Wally: (thinking) Did Felicia just call me Willy?
Wally tries to ignore this and goes back to kissing the woman he loves so much. However, Felicia is starting to pull back.
Felicia: (playfully) I guess you know what I want now.
Wally: (eagerly) Yes, Felicia?
Felicia: I want something to eat! I haven't had a bite since yesterday morning!
Wally nearly passes out from shock.
Wally: (dazed) What's that? Y-you want me to bite you?
Felicia: I'm starving, Waddle! Do you have any food?
Wally: I...I have some leftover Chinese...a few saltine crackers...
Felicia: (irritably) No, that'll never do! I want something more substantial like breakfast. You know...eggs, toast, pancakes...
Endora's voice: Waffles!
Wally leaps back in a panic as he realizes he hasn't been with Felicia at all! Endora, now fully herself, is in Wally's bed.
Wally: (thinking) Oh, crap! My worst nightmare! I woke up next to Endora!
Endora: (cackles wickedly) That should teach you to smart-mouth me, Wallpaper!
Wally: Like I need lessons!
As Endora disappears, Wally runs into his bathroom and turns on the shower. Then, he grabs every bar of soap and every bottle of shampoo he can find.
Wally: (mumbles) After this, I may never feel clean again!
* * * * *
An hour later, Cass is at home still fuming about Wally's book.
Cass: Alicia Lamont? Sassafras Winslow? (pause) It's time to call in reinforcements!
He picks up the telephone and dials Felicia's number.
To be continued... |
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