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AWFanAgain
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Location: Linda as she catches a glimpse of...???
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| Posted: Sat Feb 14, 2009 12:53 am Post subject: Husband 1.0 |
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Teeheehee...received this in an email today from my office roomie's DH (he sent it to both of us) ~
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Subject: TECH HELP
INSTALLING A HUSBAND
Dear Tech Support,
Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.
In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as
· Romance 9.5 and
· Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as
· NBA 5.0,
· NFL 3.0 and
· Soccer 4.1.
Conversation 8.0< /SPAN> no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system
· Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.
What can I do?
Signed,
Desperate.
DEAR DESPERATE,
First, keep in mind,
· Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while
· Husband 1.0 is an operating system.
Please enter command: ithoughtyoulovedme.html and try to download Tears 6.220 and do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update.
If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.
However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1.
Please note that Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Farting and Snoring Loudly Beta.
Whatever you do, DO NOT under any circumstances install Mother-In-Law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.)
In addition, please do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0 program.These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.
In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend
· Cooking 3.0 and
· Hot Lingerie 7.7.
Good Luck !
Tech Support |
My response (cuz you know I HAD to respond):
Dear Tech Support:
Due to the “limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly” flaws in the Husband 1.0 software, please note that I have found a supplemental program that seems to minimize any disappointment I might have with the Husband program: HotStudontheSide 6.9.
A 
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"It has been a magnificent journey..." ~ Linda Dano, 1999 Daytime Emmys
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KTinVA3
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| Posted: Sat Feb 14, 2009 1:20 am Post subject: Thanx...I am... |
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HotStudontheSide 6.9
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java-mama
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| Posted: Sun Feb 15, 2009 4:27 am Post subject: |
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I adore my DH but even I thought that was funny!
Natalie |
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AWFanAgain
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Location: Linda as she catches a glimpse of...???
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| Posted: Sun Feb 15, 2009 1:47 pm Post subject: |
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I kinda like my DH too, Natalie, but I thought this was a well thought out chuckle.
The emails with my office roomie's DH went back and forth a few times and he said that one of his co-workers was interested in my HotStudontheSide remark, 'cept he wasn't 6.9, he was more like 69 ~ as in his age. He even sent a *photo* of said co-worker. I replied that business must be really slow and that I didn't think his co-peep was a day over Beer 6.1.
KT ~ You read my mind with the HotStudontheSide 6.9 working MANuel!!!
BTW, how come Mitch was the only one who got to explore his *love* fer two people at the same time (Felicia and Rachel when he got all "confused" when Raschelle leaned all over him after Mac's death). I think Felicia should have been allowed the same freedom ~ be with Mitch AND Lucas. 'Course, I call dat Paradise.
Special note to WGE:
A 
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CassnFrankie4Ever
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Location: Backing Up Cass and Frankie As They Battle Christy Carson
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| Posted: Fri Mar 13, 2009 2:29 pm Post subject: |
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I LOVE IT!!!!!!
I don't even have Boyfriend 1.0, but I still love it.
And how did I know WGE would be HotStudontheSide6.9?
As for Felicia not exploring her love for both Mitch *AND* Luke, I think Luke kicking Mitch's @$$ all over the docks over the Red Swan, and Mitch, bruised, bleeding and with a concussion, still kissing *Raschelle* when she found him there because he called HER and not Felicia, probably didn't inspire a lot of people to think in terms of a menage a trois with Luke, Felicia, and Mitch. I remember sitting here going, "ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! HE CALLED RACHEL?!?!?!"
He did.
Amy
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AWFanAgain
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Location: Linda as she catches a glimpse of...???
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| Posted: Fri Mar 13, 2009 2:47 pm Post subject: |
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Awwww...Amy, you know Mitch loved my gurl. Ya have to believe he wouldn't have done all dat *Raschelle*-smoochin' if he didn't have that big fat ol' nasty Luke-induced bump on the noggin'! 
A
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