We always hear "the rules from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules. Please note that they are all numbered "1" on purpose.
1. Men are not mind readers.
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up. You need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the tides. Let it be.
1. Shopping is not sport. And, no, we are never going to think of it that way.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want.
Let's be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work.
Strong hints do not work.
Obvious hints do not work.
Just say it.
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only IF you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
1. anything we said 6months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.
1. If you won't dress like Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.
1. If you think you are fat, you probably are. Don't ask us - unless you want an honest opinion.
1. If something we said can be interpreted in two ways and one of them makes you angry, we meant the other one.
1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know how best to do it, just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, please say what you have to say during the commercials.
1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.
1. All men see in 16 colors, like the Windows default settings. Peach is not a color, it is a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will be scratched. That's what we do.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing", we will act like nothing is wrong. We know you are lying but it just isn't worth the hassle.
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.
1. Don't ask us what we are thinking unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as racecars, the shotgun formation or golf.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.
1. thank you for reading this. Yes, I know I have to sleep on the couch tonight. But, did you know that men don't really mind that?It's like camping.
From some correspondence with one of my nieces.
Gator[/i]
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Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana. |
