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milliesmom
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| Posted: Fri Feb 15, 2008 4:58 am Post subject: Please help with night wakings & soothing to sleep! |
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A little background:
I have been nursing my 8-mo old daughter to sleep since she was born. It was not a problem at first, b/c she'd stay asleep for naps and for up to 6,7,8 hours at night. Then, when she was about 3 months old, she started sleeping for shorter stretches at night, so I'd go in & nurse her to get her back to sleep. I ended up co-sleeping with her in her room until last week, b/c she'd wake so many times at night, it was just easier to stay next to her.
I decided to try to sleep train her starting last Saturday, simply because I was exhausted from nursing all night long off/on. I started off using The Sleep Lady method b/c I thought it'd be gentler than the Ferber method that I used with my (Now) 3-year old son. After 4 days of using the method for all naps and nighttimes, as well as middle of the night wakings, I thought that maybe my presence in the room was more infuriating than reassuring.
So, i started trying to leave the room, checking on her at increasing intervals. Now, it seems that I can leave her in her room for naps & she will fall asleep on her own after crying for about 10 minutes. Bedtime is about the same. The nightwakings are brutal, though, b/c I'm so exhausted & I don't feel right about having her cry so many times and for so long at night. She wakes up anywhere from 1-3 hours after she fell asleep, all night long. I have been trying to cut out nursing her, but so far I think I've given in almost every time. It just breaks my heart to go in, then lie her down & have her cry w/o at least nursing her, though I know I might be perpetuating some of the night wakings.
I was at my wit's end last night & almost gave in & co-slept again.
Please, please help. |
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kma
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| Posted: Fri Feb 15, 2008 9:20 am Post subject: |
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Hi there,
Old habits are tough to break ...and she may have been used to you coming in to her during the night, so now, it's just going to take some time NOT to do that. Is there something else (developmental) that could be going on (teeth, crawling, pulling up, rolling over, etc) & causing her to be restless during the night?? Also, how are her naps?? If she's not napping well, you may need to adjust her bedtime towards an earlier hour ..... to help her sleep better during the night.
I know I am not giving you any tips, just trying to think of some other causes that may be standing in the way of a solid night's sleep ....
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Sarah
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| Posted: Fri Feb 15, 2008 10:37 am Post subject: |
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I am sorry to say that there is no quick fix, but that the best thing that you can do is develop a plan and stick to it no matter what. If you give in and nurse her every time she wakes during the night, she will only keep waking. You should take a look at the sleep reference charts on the FAQ board and then make a sleep plan based on what you are willing to do. Something like "I will not nurse her before 6 hours has passed after putting her to bed". Then decide on what you will do to help her when she does wake. You may decide to sit next to the crib and pat her back until she is calm, or you may find that your presence in the room gets her too worked up, so you just check on her every 10 or 15 minutes, give her a sip of water or wipe her face, use a catch phrase like "It's time for sleep now" and leave again. This way you know that she is okay but she has to do the falling asleep on her own. If she is crying but getting calmer then you don't go in.
This is just a quick version of what the forum covers. I strongly recommend a sleep plan before you start (you are much more likely to be successful) and post as much as you need to for help. We are here to help you through this!!!
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| Posted: Fri Feb 15, 2008 11:11 am Post subject: |
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Thank you for the replies!
She cut 2 teeth a couple of weeks ago & I'm guessing the top 2 are on their way through in the next couple of weeks. I just didn't want to keep waiting for a "no teething" zone b/c it's so hard to predict them. 
She's been pulling to stand for a a month or so, but still does it non-stop (esp in her crib when she's crying).
I guess the reason I'm so overwhelmed is because I had a plan - The Sleep Lady - but it didn't seem to be working after several days, so I switched to more of the Ferber (checking at intervals) plan. In the middle of the night, it's so hard to know what's right (remain in the room vs. checking) that I become despondent.
I guess my step for tonight will be to cut down on nursings. I just feel like I've made so many changes already (letting her fall asleep on her own, having her sleep in her crib) and she's done SO much crying over the past week, that I get a little ill at the thought of increasing her crying while I decrease the nursings.
I'll check out the sleep plans...thanks! |
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kma
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| Posted: Fri Feb 15, 2008 11:55 am Post subject: |
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I know it seems like you are throwing a lot of changes at your little one, but that is where your consistent efforts will pay off ....decide which things (bare bones) will work for you (as outlined in your sleep plan) & then STICK with 'em .... she will learn that these new things are the new routine & will slowly get used to how it's going to be .... In addition to the sleep plan, I would also start a sleep journal, it will allow you to see what works/doesn't & keep track of it all ......
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| Posted: Fri Feb 15, 2008 12:09 pm Post subject: |
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Has anyone had success stories, even after having to stick with it for more than 1 week or so? It went so much faster with my son that this is making me nervous & uncomfortable....
A sleep log is something I should have been doing Today! |
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kma
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| Posted: Sat Feb 16, 2008 7:30 am Post subject: |
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I think if you look at some of our Sleep Journals, you will see that we've all had our successes & our roadblocks along the way ..... I found that my journal helped me to see the small victories & not to stress out about the sleep issues as a whole (easier said than done). Just make you sleep plan very simple at first until you start to see a little progress ..... and just remember, you can never force her to sleep, all you can do is offer the best environment for her to get the rest she needs, the rest is up to her......
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Sarah
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| Posted: Sat Feb 16, 2008 10:28 am Post subject: |
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I am going through very similar issues with my almost 10 month old son. Teething, standing, being sick. I have been keeping (for the most part to a plan) and things are SLOWLY getting better. It takes more time especially if they are teething etc. so hang in there! I totally agree as far as not waiting for the teething to stop - who knows when that will happen, right?!
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Sylvana
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| Posted: Mon Mar 10, 2008 1:45 pm Post subject: |
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Just read your posts. I know it's really tough to get through this part but keep at it because it's worth it in the end. It is really hard to listen to the crying but if she's eating and feeding well during the day she's really old enough not to need to at nighttime at this point. With my first son we stopped the night feeding at about 7.5 months. It took a couple of weeks until he stopped waking at night but I was sure glad we did it at that point because I did notice at 8 months that he was way more awake and willful about staying awake. We did the Ferber checking after gradually longer intervals (without knowing anything about Ferber at the time - we just did it that way) and I noticed that he would get madder and it would be harder and take longer for him to cry to sleep if I kept going in. So after the first time or so I would stop going in and he would go to sleep much faster.
He still cried before going to sleep for the night for a while after that but it was only for about 10 or 15 mintues tops and he grew out of that too.
Do you have support from a partner at all? The support I had from my husband really helped.
Anyway, keep at it. They WILL sleep through the night if they don't need to eat anymore. They really just have to learn how to.  |
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