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WilliamPattison
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Joined: 19 Sep 2006
Posts: 178
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Location: San Mateo, California
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| Posted: Tue Aug 26, 2008 1:22 am Post subject: Borderline Cult |
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I'm sorry, people, but Ulli Lommel royally needs to retire. The man is giving American horror a real bad name.....
For those of you who are yet unaware of who Ulli Lommel is, I will give you a bit of background. Lommel made his horror directorial debut in 1980 with the release of his film The Boogyman. That film was to be his only hit. It seems Lommel was a one shot wonder because right after he tried to do a sequel, Boogyman II, but it turned out to be total garbage. Since then all he has been producing has been low budget garbage that has been reviewed as such. But for some reason Z grade actors (and porno rejects) have joined Ulli in his crap fest creating what some in the horror industry have called The Cult of Ulli. Unfortunately for the horror fans, for the last couple of years, for some twisted reason, Lion's Gate has been distributing Lommel's new films on a one per every three month basis.
Now to Ulli's latest assault on our senses, Borderline Cult...This is Uli's seventh film in two years, which really tells you what amount of quality this guy puts into his films.
Borderline Cult is my pick for the worst film released in 2007 and possibly one of the worst films I have ever had the misfortune of viewing.
I don't have to go into depth with the overly simplistic plot. The story follows a trio of serial killers (one played by the horrid -Zgrade actress Elissa Dowling) working together to kill women in Juarez, Mexico. Melanie( Dowling) lures the women to their home in the hills, Herbert J. Humbert the third kills the women, and Jean-Louis digs a grave and buries the women. This takes place around eight times in the film. The only other scenes that occur: Two visits to a fortune teller, a video diary for each of the three killers and LONG shots of silent staring. If an award was given for "Best Use of Staring," Borderline Cult would be victorious.
The fun doesn't stop there folks. The directing by Ulli Lommel and the editing by XGin makes me yearn for crummy student films and Uwe Boll productions. I didn't think it was humanely possible, but Borderline's cuts are quicker and more frequent than any Michael Bay flick. Your head is guaranteed to spin as the whirlwind of cuts assault your eyes non-stop until the final frame. As for Lommel's directing, it has no style. He doesn't elicit any emotion with the characters or any scene for that matter. He recycles everything in a repetitive cycle. You are basically watching an eight minute film drug out to a tediously long 81 minutes. And yet Lommel continues to make films to this day. To quote "South Park"- "It does not make sense!"
Do your sanity a favor and avoid like the plague....
_________________
T.T.F.N.
William Pattison
www.homestead.com/f13bloodbath/enter.html
www.outpostvevetta.com
The Truth Isn't Out There, It's Right Here... |
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WilliamPattison
Site Admin
User is Offline
Joined: 19 Sep 2006
Posts: 178
Karma: 0
applaud / smite
Location: San Mateo, California
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| Posted: Fri Aug 29, 2008 7:22 pm Post subject: |
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Hey People,
I thought you guys would find this amusing...
The star of Borderline Cult, known by some of I SEE DEAD forum's members as Sunshine, has not only proved herself a horrid actress, a lousy cyberstalker, but now as a total retard as to smart business practices....
Why am I giving her this nasty literary slap???
Well, after reading my review of Borderline Cult a friend of mine contacted me with some very interesting information. It appears Miss Elissa Dowling has done the totally retarded thing of posting her personal cell phone number along with her email address on her website....elissadowling.com. Now, given all the crap she's pulled, and the people she's pissed off, over the last year it is totally stupid that she would actually post her phone number on such a public forum where any joker could find it.
Anyway, I went to Miss Dowling's website, quaking in anticipation that she was actually that ignorant, and am pleased to inform you that I confirmed what my friend told me. Good job, Elissa...
So all you poor unfortunate victims of Elissa and her evil mentor Ulli Lommel it's time to vent your feelings. It's time to get close and personal; get one on one with your tormentor and communicate.
All you have to do is click the link I've provided and you'll find what you need, courtesy of Elissa, and her supposed staff..
http://www.elissadowling.com/Resume.html
Enjoy....
P.S. I know you are wondering why I don't take up this opportunity myself?? It would be too easy for me, way too easy and way too stupid, given the fact that Elissa seems to want to cast me as a cyberstalker...Sorry, Elissa, not me. I'm just a royal witch when you jerk my chain. Have fun...
_________________
T.T.F.N.
William Pattison
www.homestead.com/f13bloodbath/enter.html
www.outpostvevetta.com
The Truth Isn't Out There, It's Right Here... |
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