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Syaoran Master Thief User is Offline

Joined: 01 Sep 2006 Posts: 546
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| Posted: Tue Sep 05, 2006 12:15 am Post subject: Once An X-Man Discussion. |
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Hope everyone enjoyed the fiction. I was bored one day and I read X-Men Unlimited #18. The art and story were really good, so I challenged myself to make a comic into a fiction. I hope I was able to capture each part of the comic correctly and if you've never read the comic before that fiction pretty much sums it up. |
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Avarice Council Member User is Offline

Joined: 01 Sep 2006 Posts: 500
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| Posted: Tue Sep 05, 2006 4:45 am Post subject: |
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I seem to remember most of the dialogue as being from the comic, but then it's been a while since I read that one, so I could be wrong.
Your descriptions were very solid. Bouncing back and forth between first and third person makes for a tough read, but I think I remember the comic doing the same thing. It's just harder to do that kind of switching around in a non-comic book format. There were also a few tense (subject-verb) disagreements, but those are easily correctable.
Normally I don't like pointing out typos like this (God only knows how many typos litter my fics), but this one made me smile:
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| You had warned him Sinister could be trusted. |
You're definitely getting better bro. Keep on a' writin'. _________________ I am Loki Scar-Lip, Loki Skywalker, Loki Giant's Child, Loki Lie-Smith.
I am Loki who is fire and wit and hate.
I am Loki. And I will be under an obligation to no one. |
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Syaoran Master Thief User is Offline

Joined: 01 Sep 2006 Posts: 546
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| Posted: Tue Sep 05, 2006 5:11 am Post subject: |
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Thanks for the feedback, Avarice. I had fun writing it, took me two days. I'm trying to go back and edit my post and fix that typo but I can't edit my post for some reason. |
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