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pepperpot
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Location: Venezuela
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| Posted: Sat Sep 13, 2008 7:26 pm Post subject: |
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Ok Repa..... good one.....but here is a young one for a bit of change of pace
.... you guys know how "Kids say the darnedest things"... here is one
A teacher was reading the story of the Three Little Pigs to her class. She came to the part of the story where first pig was trying to gather the building materials for his home. She read . 'and so the pig went up to the man with the wheelbarrow full of straw and said: 'Pardon me sir, but may I have some of that straw to build my house?'
The teacher paused then asked the class:
'And what do you think the man said?' One little boy raised his hand and said very matter-of-factly ...'I think the man would have said -
'Well, I'll be darned!! A talking pig!'
The teacher had to leave the room.
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fay47
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| Posted: Sat Sep 13, 2008 7:33 pm Post subject: |
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Sam,
Fay |
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Repa
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Location: North Carolina
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| Posted: Sun Sep 14, 2008 3:14 pm Post subject: |
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Cracked me up! 
Here's another "you know you are getting old when..."
Your doctor doesn't give you x-rays anymore but just holds you up to the light.
How about a redneck joke? You know you're a redneck if....
You take your dog for a walk and you both use the same tree.
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Repa
Older than dirt! |
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Sheila
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| Posted: Sun Sep 14, 2008 4:31 pm Post subject: |
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 to both of those jokes...
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ruthsollid
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Location: Minnesota
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| Posted: Mon Sep 15, 2008 12:56 pm Post subject: |
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I had missed the "old" jokes of Repa's and Samantha's joke. They are all !!!!!
Glad that I caught up!!
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janewm
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| Posted: Sat Sep 20, 2008 8:36 pm Post subject: |
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Good ones. I need to find some.
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janewm
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| Posted: Mon Sep 22, 2008 7:30 am Post subject: |
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Okay, I found one!!!!!
NEWS ALERT
China will no longer publish a phone directory due to chaos!
There are so many Wings and Wongs in the Directory, people were always Winging the Wong numbers.
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Repa
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| Posted: Tue Sep 23, 2008 9:12 am Post subject: |
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Another "old" joke:
An elderly Floridian called 911 on her cell phone to report that her car has been broken into. She is hysterical as she explains her situation to the dispatcher: "They've stolen the stereo, the steering wheel, the brake pedal and even the accelerator!" she cried.
The dispatcher said, "Stay calm. An officer is on the way."
A few minutes later, the officer radios in. "Disregard." He says. "She got in the back-seat by mistake."
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Repa
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janewm
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| Posted: Wed Sep 24, 2008 7:40 am Post subject: |
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Repa
We must be careful, we are showing our age.
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pepperpot
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| Posted: Wed Sep 24, 2008 8:08 am Post subject: |
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Ah you too 
A new monk arrives at the monastery. He is assigned to help the other
monks in copying the old texts by hand. He notices, however, that they
are copying from copies, not the original manuscripts.
So, the new monk goes to the head monk to ask him about this, pointing
out that if there were an error in the first copy, that error would be
continued in all of the subsequent copies.
The head monk says, "We have been copying from the copies for centuries,
but you make a good point, my son."
So, he goes down into the cellar with one of the copies to check it
against the original. Hours go by and nobody sees him. So, one of the
monks goes downstairs to look for him.
Hearing sobbing coming from the back of the cellar, he finds the old monk
leaning over one of the original books crying.
He asks the old monk what's wrong, and in a choked voice came the reply,
"The word is celebrate."
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ruthsollid
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| Posted: Wed Sep 24, 2008 8:17 am Post subject: |
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Those jokes were SOOO funny!!
I'm not a very good joke teller, so I enjoy reading these! Keep 'em coming!!
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pepperpot
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| Posted: Tue Sep 30, 2008 9:12 am Post subject: |
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Glad you like them Ruth... I am a terrible at telling jokes... it's all about "tempo"... but I get a newsletter and I just share the ones I like
This next one is a so-so... but I like jokes with a story
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A magician was employed by a Shipping Line to entertain the passengers during cruises. The captain owned a parrot which always insisted on being part of the acts put on by the magician.
He would perch on the edge of the stage and screech, "He does it with a mirror" or "He's got it up his sleeve." The magician was furious, but since the bird was a favorite with the captain and he was anxious to retain his position for future cruises, he maintained an angry silence.
One evening as the magician worked, the parrot continued to harass the unfortunate man. Sadly the ship ran into a mine which had become detached from the sea floor after a storm. The explosion tore the bow off the ship which sank within a few minutes.
Amid the wreckage and the lifeboats, the magician sat on one end of a table from the first class dining room. At the other end sat the parrot, dirty and disheveled, his feathers caked with fuel oil.
For some time they eyed each other malevolently saying nothing. Finally the parrot shook himself and advanced across the table. He fixed the magician with a beady eye. "Okay, I give up," he squawked. "What did you do with the ship?"
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