|
The Friendly Place to Get Help and Support! Here you will find free, friendly and courteous help and support for all your computing and photography needs. We also have forums where you can just relax and have fun, talk about anything you want to discuss within board guidelines, and share your interests and hobbies with others. Our portal (Home) page contains several activities and games where you can just relax. It also contains an ecard service. You are welcome to browse the forums to see what we have to offer, but you must register in order to participate. Some forums, games and activities are viewable only after you register. If you are new, click here to get started. |
 |
|
| Author |
Message |
pepperpot
Site Admin
User is Offline
Joined: 23 Nov 2006
Posts: 2474
Location: Venezuela
|
| Posted: Sat Sep 13, 2008 7:26 pm Post subject: |
|
|
Ok Repa..... good one.....but here is a young one for a bit of change of pace
.... you guys know how "Kids say the darnedest things"... here is one
A teacher was reading the story of the Three Little Pigs to her class. She came to the part of the story where first pig was trying to gather the building materials for his home. She read . 'and so the pig went up to the man with the wheelbarrow full of straw and said: 'Pardon me sir, but may I have some of that straw to build my house?'
The teacher paused then asked the class:
'And what do you think the man said?' One little boy raised his hand and said very matter-of-factly ...'I think the man would have said -
'Well, I'll be darned!! A talking pig!'
The teacher had to leave the room.
_________________
"Spirituality is not religion, religion divides people. Believing in something unites" |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
fay47
Royal Geek
User is Offline
Joined: 23 Nov 2006
Posts: 596
|
| Posted: Sat Sep 13, 2008 7:33 pm Post subject: |
|
|
Sam,
Fay |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
Repa
Site Admin
User is Offline
Joined: 26 Nov 2006
Posts: 1901
Location: North Carolina
|
| Posted: Sun Sep 14, 2008 3:14 pm Post subject: |
|
|
Cracked me up! 
Here's another "you know you are getting old when..."
Your doctor doesn't give you x-rays anymore but just holds you up to the light.
How about a redneck joke? You know you're a redneck if....
You take your dog for a walk and you both use the same tree.
_________________
Repa
Older than dirt! |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
Sheila
Moderator
User is Offline
Joined: 23 Nov 2006
Posts: 2612
|
| Posted: Sun Sep 14, 2008 4:31 pm Post subject: |
|
|
 to both of those jokes...
_________________
"You will find as you look back upon your life that the moments when you have really lived are the moments when you have done things in the spirit of love. ...
"Henry Drummond" |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
ruthsollid
Royal Geek
User is Offline
Joined: 01 Dec 2006
Posts: 1640
Location: Minnesota
|
| Posted: Mon Sep 15, 2008 12:56 pm Post subject: |
|
|
I had missed the "old" jokes of Repa's and Samantha's joke. They are all !!!!!
Glad that I caught up!!
_________________
 |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
janewm
Moderator
User is Offline
Joined: 01 Dec 2006
Posts: 1385
Location: Florida
|
| Posted: Sat Sep 20, 2008 8:36 pm Post subject: |
|
|
Good ones. I need to find some.
_________________
"If you cannot find the Truth right where you are, where else do you expect to find it?" Dogen
 |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
janewm
Moderator
User is Offline
Joined: 01 Dec 2006
Posts: 1385
Location: Florida
|
| Posted: Mon Sep 22, 2008 7:30 am Post subject: |
|
|
Okay, I found one!!!!!
NEWS ALERT
China will no longer publish a phone directory due to chaos!
There are so many Wings and Wongs in the Directory, people were always Winging the Wong numbers.
_________________
"If you cannot find the Truth right where you are, where else do you expect to find it?" Dogen
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
Repa
Site Admin
User is Offline
Joined: 26 Nov 2006
Posts: 1901
Location: North Carolina
|
| Posted: Tue Sep 23, 2008 9:12 am Post subject: |
|
|
Another "old" joke:
An elderly Floridian called 911 on her cell phone to report that her car has been broken into. She is hysterical as she explains her situation to the dispatcher: "They've stolen the stereo, the steering wheel, the brake pedal and even the accelerator!" she cried.
The dispatcher said, "Stay calm. An officer is on the way."
A few minutes later, the officer radios in. "Disregard." He says. "She got in the back-seat by mistake."
_________________
Repa
Older than dirt! |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
janewm
Moderator
User is Offline
Joined: 01 Dec 2006
Posts: 1385
Location: Florida
|
| Posted: Wed Sep 24, 2008 7:40 am Post subject: |
|
|
Repa
We must be careful, we are showing our age.
_________________
"If you cannot find the Truth right where you are, where else do you expect to find it?" Dogen
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
pepperpot
Site Admin
User is Offline
Joined: 23 Nov 2006
Posts: 2474
Location: Venezuela
|
| Posted: Wed Sep 24, 2008 8:08 am Post subject: |
|
|
Ah you too 
A new monk arrives at the monastery. He is assigned to help the other
monks in copying the old texts by hand. He notices, however, that they
are copying from copies, not the original manuscripts.
So, the new monk goes to the head monk to ask him about this, pointing
out that if there were an error in the first copy, that error would be
continued in all of the subsequent copies.
The head monk says, "We have been copying from the copies for centuries,
but you make a good point, my son."
So, he goes down into the cellar with one of the copies to check it
against the original. Hours go by and nobody sees him. So, one of the
monks goes downstairs to look for him.
Hearing sobbing coming from the back of the cellar, he finds the old monk
leaning over one of the original books crying.
He asks the old monk what's wrong, and in a choked voice came the reply,
"The word is celebrate."
_________________
"Spirituality is not religion, religion divides people. Believing in something unites" |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
ruthsollid
Royal Geek
User is Offline
Joined: 01 Dec 2006
Posts: 1640
Location: Minnesota
|
| Posted: Wed Sep 24, 2008 8:17 am Post subject: |
|
|
Those jokes were SOOO funny!!
I'm not a very good joke teller, so I enjoy reading these! Keep 'em coming!!
_________________
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
pepperpot
Site Admin
User is Offline
Joined: 23 Nov 2006
Posts: 2474
Location: Venezuela
|
| Posted: Tue Sep 30, 2008 9:12 am Post subject: |
|
|
Glad you like them Ruth... I am a terrible at telling jokes... it's all about "tempo"... but I get a newsletter and I just share the ones I like
This next one is a so-so... but I like jokes with a story
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A magician was employed by a Shipping Line to entertain the passengers during cruises. The captain owned a parrot which always insisted on being part of the acts put on by the magician.
He would perch on the edge of the stage and screech, "He does it with a mirror" or "He's got it up his sleeve." The magician was furious, but since the bird was a favorite with the captain and he was anxious to retain his position for future cruises, he maintained an angry silence.
One evening as the magician worked, the parrot continued to harass the unfortunate man. Sadly the ship ran into a mine which had become detached from the sea floor after a storm. The explosion tore the bow off the ship which sank within a few minutes.
Amid the wreckage and the lifeboats, the magician sat on one end of a table from the first class dining room. At the other end sat the parrot, dirty and disheveled, his feathers caked with fuel oil.
For some time they eyed each other malevolently saying nothing. Finally the parrot shook himself and advanced across the table. He fixed the magician with a beady eye. "Okay, I give up," he squawked. "What did you do with the ship?"
_________________
"Spirituality is not religion, religion divides people. Believing in something unites" |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
pepperpot
Site Admin
User is Offline
Joined: 23 Nov 2006
Posts: 2474
Location: Venezuela
|
| Posted: Fri Mar 20, 2009 4:08 pm Post subject: |
|
|
Harry Dunn lived with his mother in Ireland and was always bugging her to let him go the U.S.A. Finally she said he could go if he promised to write her every week to let her know how he was doing, He said he would , so off he went down to the docks.
Well she received letters each week telling her how he arrived in New York, how he had found an apartment, found a job, and had met Betty the girl in the office. He said he was so happy and that he and Betty were getting married. They had moved to Connecticut in a lovely little white house, and Betty was pregnant. Then the letters stopped.....
She was so worried she didn’t know what to do. She heard that one of the local lads was going over and she made her way to the pier. She found him and asked him if he knew her son Harry Dunn, he said he did not. She told him what had happened and asks him to look up Harry and tell him to write. He promised her he would at any cost.
Upon arriving in N.Y. he hailed a taxi, and told the cabby to take him to Connecticut (not realizing how big the USA was.) The cabby said that is quite a ways from here and quite costly. No problem I have to deliver a message for an old lady in Ireland. “Do you know Harry Dunn? He asked the cabby. “No I don’t think so” the cabby replied. The lad told the cabby that he lived in a little white house in Connecticut. So the cabby said when we get over the line I will pull into a station and you can ask the attendant if he knows you friend Harry Dunn.
So when they crossed over into Connecticut the cabby pulled into a little country service station. The boy jumped out as the attendant was coming to the car. The boy asked the attendant if he knew Harry Dunn and he said no. Where is the little white house? The attendant pointed and said right behind the station down that path, so the boy trotted down the path to the little white house (Privy-john)
He jerked the door open and there stood a man zipping up his pants “Are you Dunn?” asked the lad. Yes I’m done replied the man. “I have a message for you.”
‘What is the message” asked the man. “Write to your mother, she is worried sick over you.”
_________________
"Spirituality is not religion, religion divides people. Believing in something unites" |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
pepperpot
Site Admin
User is Offline
Joined: 23 Nov 2006
Posts: 2474
Location: Venezuela
|
| Posted: Wed Jul 29, 2009 6:52 pm Post subject: |
|
|
A very loud Texan Engineer was visiting Australia, and talking big about all of the large civil works in the USA that he was involved in. To be polite his Australian counterpart took him on a tour of some of Sydneys larger constructions.
First he took him to Gladesville Bridge. The Texan exclaimed, "Whats that! In reply the Australian said, "Thats the Gladesville Bridge".
"Hmmph" said the Texan, "How long and how many men did it take to build? The Australian replied, "About 5 years with 1000 men."
The Texan replied, "Well in Texas we would've done it in 2 years with 500 men."
Next they went to the Sydney Opera House. "What's that" said the Texan. "That's the Sydney Opera House" was the reply.
"Hmmph" said the Texan, "How long and how many men did it take to build? The Australian replied, "About 10 years with 200 men". The Texan replied "Well in Texas we would've done it in 4 years with 200 men."
By this stage the Australian was a little put out by the Texan's attitude so he decided to get some revenge, they walked around the Sydney Opera House and as they did the Sydney Harbor Bridge came into view.
Immediately the Texan exclaimed, "Wow! What's that?"
The Australian Engineer replied, "I don't know, it wasn't there yesterday."
_________________
"Spirituality is not religion, religion divides people. Believing in something unites" |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum
|
Affiliates and Friends:
    
  
| |
|
