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pepperpot
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| Posted: Fri Feb 02, 2007 7:51 pm Post subject: The Joke thread |
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A policeman brought four boys before a judge.
"They were causing an awful lot of commotion at the zoo, your Honor," he said.
"Boys," said the judge sternly, "I never like to hear reports of juvenile delinquency.
Now I want each of you to tell me your name and what you were doing wrong."
"My name is George," said the first boy, "and I threw peanuts into the elephant pen."
"My name is Pete," said the second boy, "and I threw peanuts into the elephant pen."
"My name is Mike," said the third boy, "and I threw peanuts into the elephant pen."
"My name is Peanuts," said the fourth boy.
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"Spirituality is not religion, religion divides people. Believing in something unites"
Last edited by pepperpot on Mon Sep 03, 2007 7:59 am; edited 1 time in total |
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Sheila
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| Posted: Fri Feb 02, 2007 9:08 pm Post subject: |
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 I wonder if the fourth boy was named after the comic book peanut  ...
Thanks Samantha that was a good one.
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"You will find as you look back upon your life that the moments when you have really lived are the moments when you have done things in the spirit of love. ...
"Henry Drummond" |
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janewm
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| Posted: Wed Feb 07, 2007 9:22 pm Post subject: |
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Here is a new one I just found.
I thought you would want to know about this e-mail virus. Even the most advanced programs from Norton or McAfee cannot take care of this one.
It appears to affect those who were born prior to 1965.
Symptoms:
1. Causes you to send the same e-mail twice. done that!
2. Causes you to send a blank e-mail. that too!
3. Causes you to send e-mail to the wrong person. yep!
4. Causes you to send it back to the person who sent it to you. who, me?
5 Causes you to forget to attach the attachment. well, darn!
6. Causes you to hit "SEND" before you've finished. oh no - not again!
< BR> 7. Causes you to hit "DELETE" instead of "SEND." and I just hate that!
8. Causes you to hit "SEND" when you should "DELETE." Oh, No!
IT IS CALLED THE "C-NILE VIRUS
Jane
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"If you cannot find the Truth right where you are, where else do you expect to find it?" Dogen
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Sheila
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| Posted: Fri Feb 09, 2007 11:57 am Post subject: |
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Jane,
I get it and have done some of those things myself. The old gray matter aka C-nile.
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"You will find as you look back upon your life that the moments when you have really lived are the moments when you have done things in the spirit of love. ...
"Henry Drummond" |
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pepperpot
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Location: Venezuela
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| Posted: Wed Feb 21, 2007 8:20 am Post subject: |
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Jane that was a good one! Hope I don't catch that virus 
-----------------------------------------------------
Dear Dad,
$chool i$ really great. I am making lot$ of friend$ and $tudying very hard. With all my $tuff, I $imply can`t think of anything I need. $o if you would like, you can ju$t $end me a card, a$ I would love to hear from you.
Love,
Your $on
The Reply:
Dear Son,
I kNOw that astroNOmy, ecoNOmics, and oceaNOgraphy are eNOugh to keep even an hoNOr student busy. Do NOt forget that the pursuit of kNOwledge is a NOble task, and you can never study eNOugh.
Love,
Dad
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pepperpot
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| Posted: Mon Feb 26, 2007 9:27 pm Post subject: |
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Oh well - here goes another one.
------------------------------------------------------------------
A man asked his wife what she'd like for her birthday.
"I'd love to be eight again." she replied.
On the morning of her birthday, he arose early, made her a nice big bowl of Coco Pops, and then took her off to the local theme park.
What a day!
He put her on every ride in the park:
- The Death Slide
- The Wall of Fear
- The Screaming Monster Roller Coaster... every thing there was.
Five hours later she staggered out of the theme park. Her head was reeling and her stomach felt upside down.
Right away, they journeyed to a McDonald's where her loving husband ordered her a Happy Meal with extra fries and a refreshing chocolate shake.
Then it was off to the movies:
- The latest Star Wars epic,
- He gived her a hot dog,
- popcorn,
- all the Coke she could drink,
- her favorite lolly and M&M's.
What a fabulous adventure! Finally she wobbled home with her husband and collapsed into bed exhausted.
He leaned over his precious wife with a big smile and lovingly asked,
Well, Dear, what was it like being eight again?
"Her eyes slowly opened and her expression suddenly changed. "I meant my dress size!!!!!!!
The moral of the story: Even when a man is listening, he's gonna get it wrong.
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Hey guys its just a joke... please don't shoot the messenger
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Repa
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| Posted: Mon Feb 26, 2007 9:34 pm Post subject: |
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Hey! I laughed! 
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Repa
Older than dirt! |
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Sheila
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| Posted: Tue Feb 27, 2007 11:56 am Post subject: |
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Me too.....That was a nice one. What would I want for my birthday?
To be 7 again, not 8 because I'm not that tall for an 8...get it...
Oh! Well....Still laughing at Samantha's joke....and dreaming...
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"You will find as you look back upon your life that the moments when you have really lived are the moments when you have done things in the spirit of love. ...
"Henry Drummond" |
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pepperpot
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| Posted: Wed Mar 21, 2007 10:03 am Post subject: |
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A rather old fashioned lady, always quite delicate and elegant, especially in her language, was planning a weeks holiday in Sydney with her husband, so she wrote to a particular camping ground and asked for a reservation.
She wanted to make sure that the camping ground was fully equipped, but didn't know quite how to ask about the toilet facilities. She just couldn't bring herself to write the word "toilet" in her letter.
After much thought, she finally came up with the old fashioned term "Bathroom closet" but when she wrote it down, she still thought she was being too forward, so she started all over again, rewrote the letter, and referred to the bathroom closet as the B.C.
"Does the camping ground have it's own B.C." is what she wrote.
Well, the camping ground owner wasn't a bit old fashioned, and he just couldn't figure out what the old lady was talking about, so he showed the letter around a few of the campers and the only thing they could come up with was that B.C. stood for Baptist Church, so he wrote the following reply.
Dear Madam,
I regret very much the delay in answering your letter, but I now take the pleasure of informing you that a B.C. is located nine miles north of our camping ground, and is capable of seating 250 people at one time.
I admit that it is quite a distance away if you are in the habit of going regularly but no doubt you will be pleased to know that a great number of campers go there and many take their lunches along and make a day of it. They usually arrive nice and early and stay quite late.
The last time my wife and I went was six years ago, and it was so crowded we had to stand up the whole time we were there. It may interest you to know that there is a special supper planned there to raise money to buy more seats so that everyone will be able to sit in comfort.
I would like to say that it pains me very much not to be able to go more regularly, but it is surely no lack of desire on my part, just that I am so busy most of the time.
As we grow older, it seems to be more of an effort to go, especially in the cold weather. If you decide to come down to our camping ground perhaps I could go with you the first time you go, sit with you and introduce you to all the other folks.
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Rike
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| Posted: Wed Mar 21, 2007 8:26 pm Post subject: |
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Rike
"Time is what prevents everything from happening at once."
John Archibald Wheeler - |
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pepperpot
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| Posted: Fri Apr 27, 2007 3:13 pm Post subject: |
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Mr. Marlow was strolling through the country when he saw a stable with the most beautiful horse he ever laid eyes on.
It was seventeen hands high and white, with rippling muscles and a fine, flowing mane. Mr. Marlow struck a deal to buy it from the owner who did, however, pass on one key piece of information.
"We are a religious family, Mr.Marlow, and we've instilled those values in our horse. To get him to gallop you must say 'Thanks God' to get him to stop you must say 'Our Father Who Art in Heaven,"
Settling into the saddle, Marlow said " Thanks God," and the animal took off. They rode for miles; suddenly they were coming up to a cliff.
Unfortunately, Marlow couldn't remember the phrase to make the animal stop and tried every Biblical passage he could think of until, just a few feet from the edge of the cliff, he shouted, " Our Father Who Art in Heaven! The animal stopped instantly.
Shaking and perspiring, Marlow reached into his pocket and pulled out a handkerchief. "Thanks God," he said as he mopped his brow...
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Sheila
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| Posted: Sat Apr 28, 2007 9:38 am Post subject: |
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Samantha,
That was a good one. Thank God
Thanks I'm smiling and praying as well... 
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"You will find as you look back upon your life that the moments when you have really lived are the moments when you have done things in the spirit of love. ...
"Henry Drummond" |
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Rike
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| Posted: Sat Apr 28, 2007 1:47 pm Post subject: |
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Samantha:
Nice joke, and VERY nice new Signature! Did you make it yourself?
Rik
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Rike
"Time is what prevents everything from happening at once."
John Archibald Wheeler - |
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pepperpot
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| Posted: Sat Apr 28, 2007 3:21 pm Post subject: |
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Thank you ladies!
It's been a long time since we haven't had our Daily Joke, so I thought on starting it back again.
Rike - thanks on the compliments!... Yes I did make it, I made it a bit too big though... it's part of a favorite illustration I made in my 20's.. I've stop drawing... lets say its a preamp (spell??) of my new avatar.
Yep, I'm changing my pepper... it a year now
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"Spirituality is not religion, religion divides people. Believing in something unites"
Last edited by pepperpot on Sat Apr 28, 2007 8:33 pm; edited 1 time in total |
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janewm
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| Posted: Sat Apr 28, 2007 7:55 pm Post subject: |
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I found this today, though you might like it, at least us older folks.
Jane
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"If you cannot find the Truth right where you are, where else do you expect to find it?" Dogen
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