EQNEED - View topic - Fire Fighters Jokes - with respect meant - U. S. AIRCRAFT CARRIER DEPLOYMENT HISTORY DATA BASE - Forum posting restricted. - Free Message Board Hosting by FreePowerBoards.com

Originally created by The Indian in the old forum.

These guys work hard for us regular people.. They are special folks who deserve our respect and admiration wheather it is getting a cat out of a tree, putting out a grass fire, or rushing up the flights of stairs in the World Trade Center... These guy/gals are heros and great role models..

Now, let's hear some funnies.....
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[Gen. Members]
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Alpha CO.

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May your seas be calm, your skies be clear and the winds be ever at your back.

Originally posted by The Indian in the old forum.

You Might Be a Volunteer Firefighter If...

Your two way radio transmissions all begin with "Breaker, Breaker"
Your PASS alarm goes "Yeee Haw"
You dispatch center ever said "Y'all can't miss it"
You used your rescue air bags as furniture at the fire station
You refill your air bottles at the local gas station "Free Air" hose

Your radio call signal is "Wheee doggies"
You have to mark the department out of service two weeks during deer season and every Sunday during the Winston Cup Race
You count reading fire magazines in the bathroom as training hours
Your last four fire department raffles were for a shotgun...and a member won it each time.

Your safety officer is the person who broke his arm at the last house fire
Your rehab consists of a cold beer and a pack of "nabs"
Your last serious fire was your fire department BBQ
You used your "good" fire hose as a bumper on your boat dock
You have a shotgun rack in the back of your fire truck....and got two bucks on your last call

Your Hurst tool is on loan to the local body shop
You use a hanging noose knot for all your rescue operations because it's real adjustable
You don't allow a person to join the department unless they own a pickup
You keep 2 packs of "Red Man" in your turnout gear for "emergencies"

Your departments brush truck doubles as your hunting truck
You borrowed the fire truck to use the spotlights for deer hunting
The directions to your last house fire was "Go down past the last house you burnt up"....and you know exactly which house they are talking about
You ever went diving in a swimming pool with your SCBA equipment.....just to see how it would work

You must take the battery out of your tractor to put in the fire truck before you go on calls
You consider "2 in and 2 out" to be two guys in the cab and two on the tailboard of the truck
The last girl you kissed was named Rescue-Annie and you enjoyed it so much you are thinking seriously about asking her out
Your department has ever had two emergency vehicles pulled over for drag racing while going to a scene
You have naked lady mud-flaps on your pumper

Your personal vehicle has more lights on it than your house has lights in it
You've ever walked through a Christmas display and walked away with at least 3 new ideas for a light scheme for your truck
Your rescue truck can smoke the tires
Your department's name is misspelled on your equipment

Dispatch can't mention your name without laughing
The local news crew won't put your department on T.V. because you embarrassed them last time.
You've ever referred to a light bar as sexy
Your defibrillator consists of a marine battery, a pair of jumper cables, and a fish finder

You've ever been late to a house fire because you had to stop and get the guy who fell off the truck
You've ever stopped in route to pick up a road kill
You hand out spit cans before each meeting

Everyone on your department is related in some way or another
Your annual vacation plans depend on where the state EMS conference is held.
You have as many ambulances in town as you do EMTs.
You thought your first ambulance " run " would be a 5K.
You think that the ABCs stand for " Always Being on Call. "
Your patient is standing at the curb with suitcase in hand waiting for a ride.
Your patients are either family or friends, but maybe not both.
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Originally posted by The Indian in the old forum.

The Little Fireman

A fireman is at the station house working outside on the fire truck when he notices a little boy next door. The little boy is in a little red wagon with little ladders hung off the side. He is wearing a fireman's hat and has the wagon tied to a dog.

The fireman says "Hey little boy. What are you doing?"
The little boy says "I'm pretending to be a fireman and this is my fire truck!"

The fireman walks over to take a closer look. "Little boy that sure is a nice fire truck!" the fireman says.

"Thanks mister", says the little boy.
The fireman looks a little closer and notices the little boy has tied the dog to the wagon by its testicles.

"Little boy", says the fireman, "I don't want to tell you how to run your fire truck, but if you were to tie that rope around the dog's neck I think you could go faster."

The little boy says, "You're probably right mister, but then I wouldn't have a siren!"

Shocked

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a `freebie' cause it's short..
Returning back to the station after a 4 alarm fire:
"Nothing new to report captain, the LOT was saved."
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Good posts Indian. I'd almost swear you've been to a couple of my past fire departments. LOL Seriously though, we in emergency services all need a good laugh from to time; so thank you for providing a few. I know you're probably aware of what "graveyard humour" is; so you know that even on the job we sometimes try to make light of what is happening around us; albeit out of earshot of family, friends and neighbors.

Keep them coming, take care and, as always, all my best to you and yours.

Doc

Smile

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Originally posted by The Indian in the old forum.

The Hunting Trip

Three firefighters went out on a hunting trip. There was a rookie, a captain, and a chief. The weather was misrable and they hadn't seen any deer all day. They came across an old shack where they went inside to play a game of poker.

After loosing a couple of hands, the rookie threw down his cards and said "that does it! I am going out to get me a deer." Fifteen minutes later, the rookie came back with a nice four point buck. The captain and chief asked, "how did you get that?" The rookie replied, "I walked out fifty feet, followed some tracks and shot this buck".

The captain then said, "I've had enough of this I am going to get my deer." He came back a half hour later with a 6-point buck. The chief asked, "how did you get that?" The captain replied, "I walked out a hundred feet, followed some tracks and shot this buck."

The chief not wanting to be out done said "I am out of here, I am going to bag the biggest buck of the day." He came back an hour later, all mangled
up and bloody. The rookie and captain asked, "what happened to you?"

The chief replied, "I walked out there five hundred feet, followed some tracks, and got hit by a train."
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Originally posted by The Indian in the old forum.

Q. What does CHAOS stand for?
A.The Chiefs Have Arrived On Scene.

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If - H 2 O - is on the inside of a fire hydrant, what is on the outside?
K 9 P

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Q.What do you get when you cross a Fire Chief two Lotus Notes Gurus ?
A. FireWeb .... of course!
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