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PATCHES SR. Chaplain User is Offline Joined: 24 Oct 2006 Posts: 12997 Karma: 16 applaud / smite Location: Randolph, County N.C. 9216 points 0 warnings 0 tempbans	Posted: Wed May 14, 2008 1:24 am    Post subject: Married Four Times!!! · Quote Subject: MARRIED FOUR TIMES!!! An interview with an 80-year-old woman The local news station was interviewing an 80-year-old lady because she had just gotten married - for the fourth time. The interviewer asked her questions about her life, about what it felt like to be marrying again at 80, and then about her new husband's occupation. "He's a funeral director," she answered. "Interesting," the newsman thought. He then asked her if she wouldn't mind telling him a little about her fiist three husbands and what they did for a living. She paused for a few moments, needing time to reflect on all those years. After a short time, a smile came to her face and she answered proudly, explaining that she first married a banker when she was in her early 20's, then a circus ringmaster when in her 40's later on a preacher when in her 60's, and now in her 80's a funeral director. The interviewer looked at her, quite astonished, and asked why she had married four men with such diverse careers. She smiled and explained, "I married one for the money, two for the show, three to get ready, and four to go." _________________ Staff Moderator Company XO   M.S.T. Charlie CO. SR. Forum Chaplain I used to ask God if He would come and help me. Then I asked if I could come and help Him. Finally I ended by asking God to do His own work through me.
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PATCHES SR. Chaplain User is Offline Joined: 24 Oct 2006 Posts: 12997 Karma: 16 applaud / smite Location: Randolph, County N.C. 9216 points 0 warnings 0 tempbans	Posted: Thu Jun 26, 2008 1:29 am    Post subject: · Quote ASSOCIATED PRESS ARTICLE LOCAL NEWSPAPER AUTHOR UNKNOWN: North Pole man cited for DUI on riding mower NORTH POLE, Alaska (AP) - Alaska State Troopers used lights and sirens to apprehend a North Pole man suspected of driving under the influence after he allegedly led them on a slow-speed chase that covered several lawns.   The 20-year-old man was on a riding mower. Sunday's pursuit lasted about 200 feet and reached speeds of up to 5 mph before a trooper go out of a cruiser and told the man to stop.   Troopers received a call early Sunday complaining of an intoxicated man driving a mower. They said Wyatt Lewis's blood alcohol content was 0.18 percent, more than twice the leagal limit of 0,08 percent.   Driving a lawnmower while drunk qualifies for a DUI charge. _________________ Staff Moderator Company XO   M.S.T. Charlie CO. SR. Forum Chaplain I used to ask God if He would come and help me. Then I asked if I could come and help Him. Finally I ended by asking God to do His own work through me.
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PATCHES SR. Chaplain User is Offline Joined: 24 Oct 2006 Posts: 12997 Karma: 16 applaud / smite Location: Randolph, County N.C. 9216 points 0 warnings 0 tempbans	Posted: Sun Jul 27, 2008 5:15 pm    Post subject: · Quote Be careful of what you shot that belongs to you LOL LOCAL NEWSPAPER NEWS BRIEF ASSOCIATED PRESS ARTICLE AUTHOR UNKNOWN Police say man shot lawn mower that wouldn't start MILWAUKEE (AP) - A 56-year-old Milwaukee man is accused of shooting his lawn mower because it wouldn't start.   Keith Walendowski has been charged with felony possession of a short-barreled shotgun or rifle and misdemeanor disorderly conduct while armed. According to criminal complaint, Walendowski says he was angry because his Lawn Boy wouldn't start Wednesday morning. He told police; "I can do that, it's my lawn mower and my yard so I can shoot it if I want."   A woman who lives at Walendowski's house reported the incident. She says he was intoxicated.   Walendowksi could face up to an $11,000 fine and six years and three months in prison if convicted.     A call to Walendowski's home went unanswered Friday. WOW! $11,000 plus six years, three months of his life. He could have bought another lawn mower cheaper than that. Soooooooooom becareful of what you shoot.   _________________ Staff Moderator Company XO   M.S.T. Charlie CO. SR. Forum Chaplain I used to ask God if He would come and help me. Then I asked if I could come and help Him. Finally I ended by asking God to do His own work through me.
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