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» WE are STILL HERE
by Kiwi1988 on Tue Nov 24, 2009 4:42 am
» Church Humor
by PATCHES on Tue Sep 08, 2009 9:51 pm
» Daily Devotional's
by PATCHES on Thu Jul 30, 2009 12:08 am
» ~INDEPENDENCE DAY 2009~
by JohnnyReb on Fri Jul 24, 2009 8:35 pm
» Call to arms!!!
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» NASCAR
by JohnnyReb on Thu May 28, 2009 9:37 pm
» Domestic Terrorists
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» ~A PRAYER FOR OUR MOM'S
by PATCHES on Sun May 10, 2009 2:57 am
» Happy Easter 2009
by JohnnyReb on Thu Apr 09, 2009 5:34 pm
» Secession: A biblical concept
by JohnnyReb on Wed Mar 18, 2009 3:44 pm
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PATCHES
Vice-Administrator / Lead Chaplain
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Joined: 23 Mar 2007
Posts: 826
Karma: 8
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Location: Randolph County, N.C.
14363 
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| Posted: Sat Aug 02, 2008 12:52 am Post subject: Church Humor |
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A father was approached by his small son who told him proudly,
"I know what the Bible means!"
His father smiled and replied, "What do you mean, you 'know'
what the Bible means?
The son replied, "I do know!"
"Okay," said his father. "What does the Bible mean?"
"That's easy, Daddy..." the young boy replied excitedly,"
It stands for 'Basic Information Before Leaving Earth.'
_________________
 
  
  
Faith is not a sense, nor sight, nor reason, but taking God at His word. |
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proudtobeme101
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Posts: 5
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168
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| Posted: Sun Aug 03, 2008 2:22 pm Post subject: |
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Haha! I'd heard that one before as a kid, but I still love it.
Thanks for posting it... it brought me back to simpler times. |
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PATCHES
Vice-Administrator / Lead Chaplain
User is Offline
Joined: 23 Mar 2007
Posts: 826
Karma: 8
applaud / smite
Location: Randolph County, N.C.
14363
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| Posted: Sun Aug 03, 2008 4:57 pm Post subject: |
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Thank you proudtobeme101, I am always happy to have brought about a smile on some ones face. Glad it brought you fond memories.
_________________
Faith is not a sense, nor sight, nor reason, but taking God at His word. |
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PATCHES
Vice-Administrator / Lead Chaplain
User is Offline
Joined: 23 Mar 2007
Posts: 826
Karma: 8
applaud / smite
Location: Randolph County, N.C.
14363
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| Posted: Sat Jun 06, 2009 11:26 pm Post subject: |
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JohnnyReb
CIC / Owner of the Forum
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Joined: 21 Mar 2007
Posts: 1471
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Location: "The Old North State"
15274
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| Posted: Wed Jun 17, 2009 5:20 pm Post subject: |
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PATCHES
Vice-Administrator / Lead Chaplain
User is Offline
Joined: 23 Mar 2007
Posts: 826
Karma: 8
applaud / smite
Location: Randolph County, N.C.
14363
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| Posted: Sat Jul 18, 2009 1:16 am Post subject: |
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You are welcome, glad you liked it. Here is another I received in e-mail more on squirrel's, enjoy.
AUTHOR UNKNOWN
SOURCE UNKNOWN
There were five houses of religion in a
small Florida
town:
The Presbyterian Church,
the Baptist Church
,
the Methodist Church
,
the Catholic Church and
the Jewish Synagogue...
Each church and Synagogue
was overrun with pesky squirrels.
One day, the Presbyterian Church called a meeting to decide what to do
about the squirrels. After much prayer and consideration they determined that
the squirrels were pre-destined to be there and they shouldn't interfere with
God's divine will.
In The BAPTIST
CHURCH the squirrels
had taken up habitation in the baptistery. The deacons met and decided to put
a cover on the baptistery and drown the squirrels in it.
The squirrels escaped somehow and there
were twice as many there the next week.
The Methodist Church got together
and decided that they were not in a position to harm any of God's creation.
So, they humanely trapped the squirrels and set them free a few miles outside
of town. Three days later, the squirrels were back.
But......The Catholic Church came up with the best and most
effective solution.. They baptized
the squirrels and registered them as members of the church. Now they only see
them on Christmas, Ash Wednesday, Palm Sunday and Easter.
Not much was heard about the Jewish Synagogue, but they took one
squirrel and had a short service with him called circumcision and they
haven't seen a squirrel on the property since.
_________________
Faith is not a sense, nor sight, nor reason, but taking God at His word. |
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PATCHES
Vice-Administrator / Lead Chaplain
User is Offline
Joined: 23 Mar 2007
Posts: 826
Karma: 8
applaud / smite
Location: Randolph County, N.C.
14363
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| Posted: Thu Jul 30, 2009 12:14 am Post subject: |
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Three boys are in the school yard bragging about their fathers. The first boy says, 'My dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a poem, they give him $50.'
The second boy says, 'That's nothing. My dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a song, they give him $100.'
The third boy says, 'I got you both beat. My dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a sermon, and it takes eight people to collect all the money.'
_________________
Faith is not a sense, nor sight, nor reason, but taking God at His word. |
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PATCHES
Vice-Administrator / Lead Chaplain
User is Offline
Joined: 23 Mar 2007
Posts: 826
Karma: 8
applaud / smite
Location: Randolph County, N.C.
14363
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| Posted: Thu Aug 13, 2009 1:15 am Post subject: |
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A Sunday School teacher asked her class why Joseph and Mary took Jesus with them to Jerusalem...
A small child replied, 'They couldn't get a baby-sitter.'
_________________
Faith is not a sense, nor sight, nor reason, but taking God at His word. |
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PATCHES
Vice-Administrator / Lead Chaplain
User is Offline
Joined: 23 Mar 2007
Posts: 826
Karma: 8
applaud / smite
Location: Randolph County, N.C.
14363
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| Posted: Tue Sep 08, 2009 9:51 pm Post subject: |
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At Sunday School they were teaching how Goc created everything, including human beings.
Little Johnny seemed especially intent when they told him how Eve was created out of one of Adam's ribs.
Later in the week his mother noticed him lying down as though he were ill, and she said, 'Johnny, what is the matter?' Little Johnny responded, 'I have pain in my side. I think I'm going to have a wife.'
_________________
Faith is not a sense, nor sight, nor reason, but taking God at His word. |
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