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tygrlillie
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Location: Clarksville, Tennessee
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| Posted: Tue Jan 16, 2007 3:28 pm Post subject: |
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*g* I needed those....I'm half tempted to go get my boots and kick somebody's tushie. Only, they say Sh*t splatters, and they're such nice boots, you know? And did I mention that I love you too *squish*?
~tyg
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tygrlillie
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Location: Clarksville, Tennessee
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| Posted: Wed Jan 17, 2007 2:02 pm Post subject: |
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You can't do anything about the length of your life - but you can do something about it's depth and width.
Every day, when I wake up, I remember my God-father, my DeDe. He was an amazing man. We're getting closer to the anniversary of his death again, and I miss him so bad I ache. He died January 24, 2003. God, so so much has happened to me since then. Then, I was a high school senior, thinking that I might not ever make it through life. My Mom's husband swore I'd never amount to anything. He was wrong.
I discovered that no matter how short life is, it is always and in ALL WAYS meaningful. I may not be the one who climbs Mount Kilamanjaro, or the one who brings about peace in the Middle East, or even performs at Carnegie Hall - hell, I might not make it to SEE Carnagie Hall - but I don't have to. I am the one who kisses boo-boos better, who zips up stubborn jackets, who sings (way off-key, but sings) in the shower and makes her family laugh. I am the one who will teach those some feel are unteachable, write to entertain my friends and perhaps someday a bigger audience, the one who has so many blessings it would take a year to count them all and I'd still have a bumper crop that added up in the meantime. My life is rich, even if my pockets are poor. The depth and width of life are what's important. So, get up - go out there. Hug a stranger. Thank a friend. See all the wonderous beauty the world holds for you and you alone and then share it with everybody you happen to come in contact with. Live and remember those who live in your heart forever. That's true immortality - to be remembered long after you've been called home to glory. Like my DeDe. DeDe, I think of you every single day, every minute I wonder how you would have handled things, what wise advice you would have given me. I am not where I need to be yet, DeDe. But day by day, hour by hour - I'm getting there. I hope you're proud of me. I love you so much.
~tyg
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tygrlillie
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Location: Clarksville, Tennessee
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| Posted: Thu Jan 18, 2007 12:27 pm Post subject: |
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"Many of the truths we cling to depend greatly upon our own point of view."
[Obiwan "Ben" Kenobi]
So, I am not a big one for organized religion. I was burned very badly by a man who said he was a good Christian man, but I knew his darker more twisted side. For many years, I wrestled with what I believed. Here's what I found, for me at least, to be true:
1. God is everywhere. You don't have to be on the inside of a church to find Him.
2. If I were the only person on earth, Jesus still would have come to save me, because I am that important. So are you. Never doubt that.
3. God don't make junk. Each of us brings something special to the table, and every flavour is unique and important.
4. Hope is eternal.
5. Faith is sitting on that chair, knowing it'll hold you up or getting on that airplane even if logically it shouldn't be in the air.
6. Always appreciate the small stuff, because it's also a miriacle to behold.
7. Never forget those who make you strong. Sometimes angels come with wings and a glow and halo, but most of the time they come in jeans and a sweat-stained t-shirt. They are also often people you've known your whole life.
8. Know that even in your darkest hour, you are never and will never, ever be alone. He is there to hold you...and so am I.
~tyg
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Dawggie
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Location: New Muther Effin England, baby!!!
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| Posted: Thu Jan 18, 2007 12:54 pm Post subject: |
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| tygrlillie wrote: |
"Many of the truths we cling to depend greatly upon our own point of view."
[Obiwan "Ben" Kenobi]
So, I am not a big one for organized religion. I was burned very badly by a man who said he was a good Christian man, but I knew his darker more twisted side. For many years, I wrestled with what I believed. Here's what I found, for me at least, to be true:
1. God is everywhere. You don't have to be on the inside of a church to find Him.
2. If I were the only person on earth, Jesus still would have come to save me, because I am that important. So are you. Never doubt that.
3. God don't make junk. Each of us brings something special to the table, and every flavour is unique and important.
4. Hope is eternal.
5. Faith is sitting on that chair, knowing it'll hold you up or getting on that airplane even if logically it shouldn't be in the air.
6. Always appreciate the small stuff, because it's also a miriacle to behold.
7. Never forget those who make you strong. Sometimes angels come with wings and a glow and halo, but most of the time they come in jeans and a sweat-stained t-shirt. They are also often people you've known your whole life.
8. Know that even in your darkest hour, you are never and will never, ever be alone. He is there to hold you...and so am I.
~tyg |
yeah baby, that was beautiful, and those that i highlighted...are my favorites, becuz they make alot of sense to my heart...
i love you
me<3
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tygrlillie
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Location: Clarksville, Tennessee
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| Posted: Thu Jan 18, 2007 1:28 pm Post subject: |
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*smiles* They make a lot of sense to me too. Hey, do you know why myother two stories are missing on fan fic? I went to go see if anybody'd read them and they're like gone. *worried and a little hurt*
~tyg
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tygrlillie
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Location: Clarksville, Tennessee
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| Posted: Fri Jan 19, 2007 2:08 pm Post subject: |
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Laissez la bon temps rouler!
I got my dispursement check a few minutes ago, which means I can go shopping and send off for my ticket to New Orleans.
I have always wanted to go there. I think it might have something to do with the fact that I grew up reading X Men comics - I was half gone for Gambit, Remy LeBeau, since I was a kid. He was poetic, romantic, strong, and adorable. I just fell for the mystery of that character and that gradually evolved into a love of the Crecent City, from afar at least. Now, I can go see her in person. Munch on food, get some beads, cheer for the parade, and see Tay and LiMBO. How can this NOT be a good thing?
Mom's worried I might not be able to handle it, and let's face it guys - I am a painfully shy person most of the time. But I want, and by God, I shall have for a change. I had to give up New Year's this past year on account of her fears - I need this. I miss my guys. And say what you will, they need me too. So, that's it. Break out the streamers and the confetti - this tyg is hitting the road.
~tyg
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Laura72
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| Posted: Fri Jan 19, 2007 3:52 pm Post subject: |
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you go girl and have a blast...make sure you keep us posted !! ♥ ya
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tygrlillie
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| Posted: Sat Jan 20, 2007 12:48 pm Post subject: |
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Ignorance is Bliss
Okay, so before we go on, you guys need to know I love my Mom. She's a wonderful, wonderful person. I am so glad and lucky I can go to her with about anything and she plays it straight - no fuss no muss and gets the job done. That's about everything she knows and I love that. However...There are certain things about me my Mom does NOT need to know. Like what kind of *ahem* adult toys I possess, and how to use them. She wants to take me shopping for some new toys. I am totally like "No!" and she's sort of hurt by this. I don't know - is this a "normal" thing?
When I was about 14, my mother sat me down and drew pictures and bought me a copy of the Kama Sutra if I had any questions. I was very much a late bloomer - my first serious crush was when I was 19. Can you imagine how horribly gross that was to me then? And she just went into the whole speil of how to and how not to - I learned an awful lot that helps my writing, but I gotta tell you - my "hands - on " experiance is severely limited in scope and volume. Anyhow, Mom, I love you, but the things I do during my alone time - provided you don't walk in on me again - should remain mine and mine alone, with the possible, potential for a love interset somewhere down the road. And not my mother. Just sayin'.
~tyg
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tygrlillie
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| Posted: Mon Jan 22, 2007 2:22 pm Post subject: |
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I will love the light for it shows me the way, yet I will endure the darkness for it shows me the stars.
Daylight has always been a mortal enemy of mine, though we recently have come to terms with being aquaintences. I greatly prefered the dark, because that's when I could sleep and dream. Call it the vampyre in me or just the fact that in the dark, you can hide where no one can find you, I was always alone when I was young. People are just now coming to know me and like me - or maybe now, I am ready to accept people coming to know and like me and they've been there the whole time and Captain Oblivious - me - just never noticed before. It's really funny how when you are young, you are unafraid to go out into the light and play all day and when you get older, you realise that the things in the dark can be found in the light and scare you just as bad as if they were in the dark, and the things in the dark that youy can gain comfort from can also be brought into the light . Neither should scare you, but a healthy respect for both is needed. As I grow, in my personal journey of self-discovery, shining new parts of myself to the bright light that before I might have hid away, because I have a hard time letting people get too close, I find there is always a path to take. It might not always be the best path in the world, but somebody somewhere has been there before you. And it's okay to get help scaling the walls before you - you aren't meant to do it all alone.
~tyg
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tygrlillie
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| Posted: Thu Jan 25, 2007 1:20 am Post subject: |
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Goodbye Girls are meant to be forgotten
Years ago, I saw this movie - The Goodbye Girl. I saw it with my beloved DeDe for the first time. I didn't know the impact it would make on my life then. I know all too well now....
I was born a Goodbye Girl - people walk into my life to say Goodbye. They let me take care of them and love them when they need me, then forget all about me until they need me again, if they ever do. It can be a very lonely existence sometimes, but I've gotten rather used to it over the years. Sometimes, I even prefer it. But sometimes I wonder what it's like, to be truly wanted, loved, and accepted. The last person who made me feel that way went home to glory 14 years ago today. He didnt want to go, at least I hope he didn't, but the Goodbye Girl in me wonders if he hadn't left, would he have gradually have left me, too? I think he would have eventually. Everybody does. I'm terrified for the day all of you decide you won't need me any more. And I have no doubts that'll come someday.
I am continually forgotten, ignored, and when I'm not, t usually means I'm in trouble and I am screamed t or being made to feel less than pond scum. Or I'm being made fun of. I like being forgotten and ignored better than the other stuff. It's my comfort zone.
When I was blessed to meet LiMBO this summer, thos guys made me feel I was important. I will love them the rest of my life for that. I haven't felt that good in years. But do I delude myself into believin they know or care o me? No. I can pretty much guarantee they have no clue who I am and it'd be the same if we meet again. And I'm cool with that. Seriously. I can handle being their Goodbye Girl. I don't think I could handle being Taylor's. Intellectually, I know I can't expect him to remember me...but m heart begs to be noticed, just once.
*sigh* I'm sorry, guys. I just need a hug, I guess.
~tyg
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